


Rise Again

by ColdPorridge22



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, House Buying, Hurt Phil, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Puppies, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-06-08 15:11:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 36,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6860206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdPorridge22/pseuds/ColdPorridge22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Phoenix Down. Can be read as a standalone, if you're not into the angst fest that was Phoenix Down.</p><p>After the events of Phoenix Down, the boys are home and they've just gotten together. Phil is still healing from his injuries, but that's not stopping the relationship from getting more and more physical as they explore this new side of them. And then of course, there's the issue of coming out...</p><p>FINISHED!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, a massive thanks to everyone who left a comment or kudos on Phoenix Down! I'm secretly a bit proud of how it turned out! Couldn't have done it without your support! Much love!

Chapter 1

 

It was surprising how _easy_ it was.

 

That's the thing that awed Dan the most. Granted, it had only been a day since he had first kissed Phil, so he didn't have that much material to compare this new situation to anything else in his life. But he already felt this was different.

 

Dan had a few characteristics that regularly threw a wrench in everyday life. He was a perfectionist. He was an overthinker. And he was insecure - more so than he let on. There was always a baseline of dissatisfaction vibrating somewhere in his brain. The little voice in the back of his mind kept up a running commentary of _would've, could've, should've_ , casting doubts like shadows.

 

Now, though? The voice was quiet, as if it had been stunned into silence by the changes. He didn't have to worry whether he was good enough. He was so used to the voice in his head always asking whether he was interesting enough, attractive enough, funny enough. And that wasn't even restricted to love interests - he asked himself these questions whenever he uploaded a video or when he did a live show. So it was surprisingly peaceful that one look from Phil could silence that little demon in his brain.

 

Phil loved him and he loved Phil. They'd said it. It was out in the open now. It gave him an unprecedented certainty: he knew in his heart of hearts that this was it. They were together now. No ifs, ands or buts. He didn't need to worry whether this would just be a fling, or figure out what he felt exactly. This was it. They'd taken the plunge, together, feet first into the waters they'd skirted around for ages. And he knew they would be just fine.

 

There were no doubts about this - Dan just _knew_. The knowledge was innate, like when you see a color and know that it's red. No need to think it through, no need to analyze, no need to doubt. The information clicks neatly into place in your brain and it just fits.

 

People had been saying 'Dan and Phil' in one breath, as though it was one word. Hell, they'd been doing that themselves the past few years. There can't be one without the other.

 

And yesterday, they had solidified that.

 

The past two weeks had been... well, insane, for lack of a better word. How else could he describe it? It had started as hell. Phil had saved two children from a burning house, but it had nearly cost him his life. Very nearly - Dan had watched as Phil's heart stopped in the ambulance and the doctor had later told him he'd crashed once again in surgery. That day still haunted his dreams. It had been the worst time of his life.

 

Then there was elation when it became clear that Phil was going to survive, but the slow and painful recovery had taken a mental toll on Phil. It hadn't helped that Dan had acted distant during this time, because he was dealing with nosy nurses and prying journalists. But when they were finally home, after two weeks finally really alone and together where they belonged, the dam had broken and they had kissed at last.

 

So after a truly insane two weeks, here they were. On the couch, holding hands, one of Phil's legs casually draped over Dan's shin, while they were watching a movie. It was terribly domestic - and the best thing ever, Dan thought. They needed domestic. They deserved it.

 

And it had been easy so far. They'd had an easy way of acting around each other even when they had just been friends. They clicked, they worked. Now it was like there was a new dimension added to their reality, like they had suddenly switched from 2D to 3D. It was the same, but so much _more_. Like they hadn't really been doing anything exactly wrong up until now, but suddenly they _got_ it and life became that much more amazing.

 

 _We've made an 'us'_. He realized.

 

He looked over at Phil, who was engrossed in the movie but still absentmindedly rubbed his thumb over the back of Dan's hand. That was how they'd watch movies from now on, Dan thought and he couldn't help the grin that spread across his face.

 

Phil looked at him.

 

"What's up?" He asked, voice low.

 

"Nothing. Just really happy."

 

Phil squeezed his hand. "So am I." He said with a soft smile.

 

Dan leaned over and captured Phil's mouth with his own. Whereas his own lips were often chapped, Phil's were soft as sin. The taste of him was already so familiar to Dan. He couldn't get enough.

 

Phil's fingers untangled from his and he let his hand run over Dan's thigh. It felt like an electric charge. Dan wanted more. He wanted that hand to stray further up his leg to uncharted terrain.

 

Instead he recaptured the roaming hand in his own and brought it back to safe territory. He hadn't been kidding that morning when he'd said they needed to take it slow for now. Phil had been gravely injured and the only reason he wasn't in pain right now was because of some heavy duty medication.

 

Phil relented and they kissed more chastely for a little while longer. Phil was really good at that, Dan concluded. He would have to be, with those amazing lips.

 

Eventually he withdrew and he realized the movie had ended.

 

"Any clue what the movie was even about?" Phil asked, grinning.

 

"I think it was about a guy." Dan said - he had honestly forgotten which movie they'd chosen.

 

"Wow, that's more than I expected you to guess."

 

"Well, there was another guy on my mind who was kind of interesting." Dan said airily.

 

"Really? Did you think of him while you were kissing me?" Phil asked innocently.

 

"You're such a spoon." Dan laughed.

 

"No, really. Tell me. It's not a ginger, is it? I need to know what I'm up against." Phil said with feigned solemnity.

 

Dan swung a leg over Phil's lap and straddled him.

 

"The only one you're going to be _up against_ , is me." He said, face inches from Phil's. He was pleased to note that Phil's eyes grew big and that he swallowed nervously. He cupped Phil's chin, pressed a quick kiss on his lips and then hopped lightly off his lap.

 

"But not yet."

 

As he turned around and left the room, he heard Phil moan brokenly.

 

"You're _such_ a tease."

 

###

 

Louise was not a happy camper.

 

She liked to be informed - fully and up front - about changes in the lives of the people she was closest to. People she considered friends. So when Dan had Skyped her and declared with a sad face that Phil had a date, she was glad he'd called her. Of course, she'd mostly just been devastated, because she knew how much Dan loved Phil. And she shipped them - hardcore, because she'd thought Phil loved Dan too.

 

But that asshole had let her believe his lie right up until Phil snogged him on camera - and then he promptly hung up on her.

 

She was furious.

 

And ecstatic.

 

But mostly furious.

 

She had tried calling. That was the first thing she did, of course. Neither of them had picked up. She _hated_ them.

 

Louise was not used to being in the dark and she did not like it. Apparently, something _big_ had happened. Somehow they'd finally gotten together and Louise needed info. She needed details.

 

She debated whether she should call someone else, but she didn't dare. She didn't know who knew and whether this was something she could talk about. She desperately needed answers. She felt like Varys without his little birds.

 

It had been two hours since the Skype call and she'd called six times already. She tried again anyway.

 

"Hi."

 

Dan picked up this time and for a second, Louise was so startled she forgot what to say.

 

"Er... hi? Louise?" Dan's voice sounded hesitant over the phone, as if he full well knew he was going to get his ass kicked.

 

"Dan."

 

"Hi."

 

" _Dan_." Louise intoned more crossly now.

 

"Sorry?" Dan tried. He didn't sound very apologetic though.

 

"Dan, what the hell was that."

 

"We're a couple."

 

"A couple of jerks!" Louise fumed. "Why did you do that to me! Why didn't you pick up? I've been dying for answers! What the hell happened?"

 

"Well... we kissed."

 

"Yes, I _got_ that! _How_?"

 

"Well, you just put your mouths together and -"

 

"Dan, this isn't funny! Tell me everything!" My God, that fool was laughing his head off now. She was so going to kill him.

 

Dan cracked and told her the events of the previous day. He told her about the hair washing, but worse, of her own interruption.

 

"And then you _stayed_ for an hour, talking about Mike or Matt or whatever." Dan concluded.

 

"Oh my God." Louise groaned. She couldn't believe what she'd done.

 

"Well, that was my reaction too." Dan said lightly.

 

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know! I swear. What happened then? It happened right after I left, didn't it?" She asked.

 

"Yup. The door closed, Phil was there and _bam_. First kiss." Dan said. She could hear he was grinning like an idiot.

 

Louise's anger had completely evaporated, she was so overjoyed for her two friends.

 

"I'm so happy for you guys! I've been hoping you'd get together for years! It took you long enough!" She exclaimed happily.

 

"Well, you made it take longer." Dan snorted.

 

Louise conceded.

 

She'd deserved that prank call.

 

###

 

"We can't sleep in the same bed tonight."

 

Dan nearly tripped over his feet as he heard Phil's remark.

 

"Is this because I teased you?" He asked hesitantly.

 

He felt a bit dumb - he hadn't meant to cross his own line, but it was just so damn hard to remind himself _no strenuous activity_. He felt so completely at ease around Phil, so at ease in this brand new relationship, that he had to fight himself to actually take it slow. Which was a bit strange, because neither of them actually _wanted_ slow. But at the same time, Dan didn't want their first sexual experience to end with Phil doubled over in pain instead of an orgasm.

 

"No, my cousins are coming over from Florida, remember? Their plane lands in a few hours." Phil said.

 

Dan flopped down on the couch with a disgruntled moan.

 

"I thought you liked them?" Phil asked hesitantly.

 

"I do, it's just... they're here for three nights, aren't they?" He had almost forgotten.

 

Phil nodded. "To visit us and explore London. So they won't be around all the time. And then they're going to my parents."

 

"And I can't sleep in your bed for three nights." Dan concluded sadly.

 

"Well... we could, you know, come out to them?" Phil sounded as though he didn't think that was a good idea.

 

Dan shook his head.

 

"They're giant gossips and I hardly know them. I just want _us_ to be private a little longer, I guess. Louise knows, but she's _different_. If your cousins know, then your whole family knows. And my mother has yours on Facebook, then _my_ family knows."

 

"No, it's okay. Like I said, they won't be around _all_ the time. I'm just going to miss waking up next to you." Phil said.

 

Dan moved over to him and threw his arms around Phil's neck. He leaned his forehead against Phil's.

 

"Can we maybe make up for lost time? I miss you already." He murmured.

 

Phil wrapped his arms around his middle and pulled him close. He didn't answer, but instead kissed him deeply. Dan sighed and sank into the kiss. He lost himself again - when his tongue met Phil's, the world and all his worries fell away. Nothing mattered anymore, except the two of them.

 

It was Phil who pulled back after what felt like an eternity. Dan was dazed and he realized his hands had moved under Phil's shirt.

 

Phil was panting slightly as he gently steered those treacherous hands away.

 

"Just so you know... if you keep turning me on, I'm going to make you finish the job."

 

A tight feeling settled in Dan's belly. He could foresee a lot of cold showers in his future.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating's up!

Chapter 2

 

Phil liked being back home.

 

His stay in the hospital had been dismal, especially the nights he'd spent unable to fall asleep and unable to move, just staring at the ceiling. Some of those nights had seemed to last forever - and not in a good way.

 

Being back home had changed _everything_. Now he actually wanted the nights to last forever, because he wasn't alone anymore. He wasn't trapped in his own mind anymore and the ceiling was no longer the most interesting thing in the room. He had Dan. Instead of counting cracks and spots on the ceiling, he counted the little birthmarks on Dan's face while he slept, studied every inch he could see as the faint light of the moon filtered through the curtains.

 

He turned his head to the side and he glanced at the empty spot beside him.

 

No Dan now. They were in their own separate bedrooms tonight.

 

Phil's cousins had arrived a couple of hours ago, which meant Dan and Phil adopted a complete hands-off approach. For the next few days, they'd be straight as arrows, totally platonic friends who definitely did not play tonsil hockey and feel each other up while no one was looking. No-Homo Howell and Straight-Laced Lester, roommates and not a bit more.

 

He wondered how long they could keep up that charade. He and Dan gravitated towards each other so easily now that they'd finally gotten together. They stood closer together, touched each other without thinking twice. And they stared more than was necessary. It felt weird and unnatural to restrain themselves.

 

When Phil had gone to bed that night, Dan had stood up as well, without a second thought. Dan had caught himself and deflected just in time, going to the bathroom instead. On the way back upstairs, Dan had loudly announced that Phil had forgotten some medication and had come into his room. He'd pressed a quick, close-mouthed kiss on his lips, whispered a 'goodnight' and then had gone back to the living room to stay up a bit longer.

 

Phil had slept for a few hours, but had woken up after a weird dream. Now it was the middle of the night and the house was totally silent. Everyone was asleep. Except him. He felt a bit antsy, restless. He really missed Dan's soothing presence next to him, the smell of him. He grabbed the pillow Dan had used the previous nights and held it to his nose. It still smelled of him and that eased some of the tension Phil was feeling. He breathed it in deeply.

 

 _Man, I've got it bad_. Phil thought.

 

It couldn't be helped though, he knew. It wasn't Phil's fault that his boyfriend - that word still made his heart do somersaults - was such a beautiful, funny, sweet, sexy guy. Phil was really just a victim. He'd fallen prey to sparkling chocolate brown eyes and adorable dimples. And his fingers, not to forget. Long, nimble fingers that had moved under his shirt to light sparks on his skin.

 

He wondered if his wounds would permit him a bit more... _activity_ than they had enjoyed so far. Dan wanted to, that was for sure. Just not yet. They really had tumbled into this relationship at the wrong time in their lives... well, if you didn't count the seven years they wasted anyway. Or maybe it was just five years; Dan hadn't been ready the first two years.

 

There were a thousand things he wanted to do with Dan and at least eight hundred of those involved some sort of physical activity. So his injuries were terribly timed. His ribs weren't that bad, as long as he didn't lift his arms too high, but the deep wound to his stomach proved to be very cumbersome. Whenever he turned or sat up, his abdominal muscles would protest loudly and continue to throb long after the wave of pain faded away.

 

But Phil was flat on his back now and no Dan around to make him take it easy, so he reckoned he might as well use his loneliness to see how his body would respond. Test the waters, so to say.

 

His fingers moved under his shirt then, tracing the path Dan's fingers had made just a few hours ago. He let his head sink back on the pillow, closed his eyes and wondered what it would be like if Dan was here now, doing this to him.

 

He felt himself hardening as he let his fingers stray south. His fingers slipped under the fabric of his pants, then crossed the barrier of his underwear. What he wouldn't give to have Dan here, hovering above him, letting his fingers paint invisible lines on him. He couldn't wait to share all of himself with Dan, giving himself completely.

 

He bit his lip as he wrapped his fingers around his length and moved his hand experimentally. He immediately knew he wasn't going to last long - he hadn't touched himself since before the hospital, so it had been weeks. And there was a _lot_ of pent-up energy waiting to be released.

 

He loosened his grip slightly, because he wanted to make it last. He let out a quivering breath as he moved his hand slowly, almost casually rubbing his thumb over the head.

 

His other hand moved up his belly. His scarred stomach felt weird, the skin thin and irritable. His hand drifted further up, across the scar on his chest. That wasn't too bad.

 

Dan had touched him there. Before they'd gotten together. Phil had stood before him, torso bare, scars displayed, and Dan had touched his chest. It had felt so intimate, standing there with him. He had never felt so naked before anyone else. But Dan had touched him and their eyes had locked...

 

He moved his hand faster now, squeezing on the upward motion. Sense memory washed over him. The taste of Dan's mouth, the feel of his fingers on his skin and of his body pressed against his. The look in Dan's eyes right after a kiss. Dan, Dan, _Dan_.

 

He felt the familiar tight coil in his belly and he imagined that it was Dan's hand on him, Dan looking at him, fire in those gorgeous eyes, biting his lip as he wrapped his fingers tighter, moving faster -

 

His release crashed over him almost unexpectedly, his body tensing, seizing, as it coursed through him. He bit his lip hard, to stop himself from crying out. He felt a jolt of pain from his stomach, but it was nothing compared to the pleasure that washed it out, taking him over.

 

He was panting raggedly as he came down from his high. His stomach throbbed angrily at him, but elsewhere in his body his veins were singing with relief. It was the strangest sensation Phil had ever had. But not all bad. Definitely not. That had been intense.

 

With shaking fingers he fumbled for the tissues that he knew were somewhere behind the nightstand. He barely managed to clean up before sleep overtook him.

 

###

 

Dan thought Phil's cousins were sweethearts, he really did. But he just needed them gone. It seemed that they appeared at the exact moment he and Phil were alone for one second. He didn't know what kind of superpower that was, he just knew it could definitely only be used for evil. He wondered what kind of villain would have these powers. Probably Captain Cock-block or something alliterating like that.

 

He'd slept badly and he had dreamed of the fire again. The past few days he'd hardly dreamed, instead sleeping deeply, relaxed and happy. But now that he'd slept in his own bed again, alone, he felt anxious.

 

 _Two more nights_. He told himself.

 

He just wanted a hug from Phil - that wasn't too much to ask. But the second he'd walked into the kitchen that morning, making a beeline for Phil at the counter, cousin Isabel popped her head around the door opening in her overly enthusiastic American manner and bid them good morning.

 

They were in the living room now, the cousins on the couch, comparing their cereal to their American counterparts. Dan was in the armchair, not really listening to what they were saying. He stared at the little puddle of milk at the bottom of his bowl - the last remnant of his breakfast. He just wanted the girls to leave for the day, but they seemed to be in no hurry.

 

Phil emerged in the door opening. Dan's heart did a little dance as he grinned at him. Phil looked especially bright-eyed this morning. It did his self-esteem no favors, to see Phil so well-rested and happy after they had spent the night apart. But on the other hand, Phil was throwing _him_ a very mischievous smirk, so he supposed it evened out.

 

Dan raised his eyebrow when Phil didn't move further into the room. He casually leaned back on the door post, barely obscured to his oblivious cousins on the couch. Dan wondered why he was just standing there...

 

Phil kept a steady gaze on him, electric blue eyes smoldering. Dan felt his mouth go dry. He was familiar with that look. That look meant all the right things... unless you had family over, of course.

  
Dan couldn't look away as Phil let his eyes wander to his lips. He wasn't used to this, to be stared at with such open lust. It sent him all the right signals, because his body was responding. He hoped to every deity above the cousins on the couch didn't notice a sudden sheen of sweat on his forehead.

 

Phil didn't stop, though. His eyes went down and down and Dan knew for a fact that Phil wasn't that interested in the bowl he had in his lap. Surreptitiously, he moved a pillow on his lap and set the bowl on it. It wobbled slightly - but it was more steady than Dan felt.

 

Phil bit his lip then and Dan knew he'd gotten the pillow just in time, because he recognized the arousal pooling in his groin. What the hell was that moron doing, his family was _right there_ on the couch, Dan in full view of them.

 

Phil took it one step further though. He let his fingers play along the hem of his shirt, touching the skin underneath, teasing along the waistband of his pants and -

 

"Dan!"

 

He was barely in time to catch the bowl before it toppled over onto the ground. The cousins were staring at him. It had been cousin Ella, the younger one, who had called his name.

 

"Is something wrong?" Cousin Isabel asked, concerned.

 

"No, er, I just remembered I forgot something." Dan said distractedly. He looked at the door again - Phil was gone. Just disappeared, like some horny poltergeist. And Dan was sitting there, feeling _very_ self-conscious and unable to get up.

 

He was going to kill Phil.

 

###

 

It was another hour before they were finally alone.

 

"You're such a tease! What the hell did you do that for!" Dan hissed.

 

"Can't help it, you were just sitting there looking all sexy!" Phil smirked.

 

"Phil, you _know_ we can't go all the way yet." Dan groaned.

 

"I know. But there's certain stuff we _can_ do. I kind of... did a test run last night."

 

Dan's eyes lit up as he considered the possibilities.

 

"You know this is on you, right? If you're sure, and we do this, I'm not taking it easy on you."

 

"I wouldn't want you to." Phil smirked as he leaned in to capture Dan's mouth.

 

He hoped his cousins would be out for a good long while.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary? Er... M-rated stuff. And then the boys being cute idiots.

Chapter 3

 

Somewhere along the line, Dan had lost his shirt.

 

It was probably on the living room floor, forgotten the second Phil had pretty much yanked it over his head in his attempts to see more of him. Dan didn't blame him, he was all for the new nude-is-good policy.

 

They were kissing hard, much more aggressively than they had yet. Dan had seldom been subject to such passion, let alone matched it with equal fervor.

 

His fingers worked feverishly on the buttons of Phil's shirt, eager to touch the skin underneath, but he faltered when he felt Phil's teeth nip at his bottom lip. His breath hitched and his pants felt like they'd spontaneously shrunk two sizes. With shaking hands he resumed his work on the button-up shirt, but his brain could barely send the right signals to his fingers, probably because it was otherwise occupied.

 

Phil released his mouth and swatted his hands away. He made quick work of the last few buttons and shed the offending material. They were panting raggedly. Phil took a step back to look Dan up and down.

 

"You're gorgeous." He said.

 

His voice was low with arousal and it made Dan's brain short-circuit. Phil's hair was a mess - Dan presumed he had something to do with that - a few strands of the black fringe falling in front of eyes of burning blue. He let his eyes roam down to his lips, that pale neck, the collarbones jutting out... then halted at his chest.

 

He let his fingers glide over the expanse of Phil's chest, tracing along the angry color of the scar.

 

He suddenly felt nervous, confronted with the damage.

 

_Should we be doing this?_

 

He knew the wounds, he knew them like the back of his hand. Collapsed lung, broken ribs. Spleen and part of the liver removed, stomach barely patched up.

 

He let his fingers trace along the scar on his stomach.

 

 _It's too soon_.

 

That wound was scarier than the one on the chest - the scar was long and wide, Dan barely believed the skin could hold itself together.

 

_It's too much._

 

"It's so big." He muttered anxiously as he ran his fingers along the damaged skin.

 

"I didn't expect that line until a bit later." Phil grinned.

 

"That's not even funny, Phil." Dan said, voice trembling. "How can you be so eager? You got hurt so badly."

 

Phil smiled softly at him and stroked his thumb over Dan's cheek.

 

"I'm fine. I'm not going to do anything I won't enjoy, okay? Nothing we won't _both_ enjoy _._ "

 

"I just don't want to hurt you." He said apprehensively. It looked like he could harm him so easily. Not that he wanted to, of course, but maybe in the throes of passion he could accidentally cause him pain. And Dan didn't want that.

 

"Hey." Phil lifted his chin, making Dan look in his eyes instead of at his torso.

 

"It looks scarier than it is. I wouldn't do this if I didn't think we'd both have a really good time, okay? I promise to speak up if something does hurt. Can you trust me?"

 

Dan melted at the sincerity in Phil's eyes. He knew it, of course. In order to move forward, they'd have to take some scary leaps... but they'd be in it together.

 

He took Phil's hands in his and intertwined their fingers. He pressed a soft kiss to Phil's smiling mouth.

 

"I trust you."

 

They kissed slower this time, more intimate. Dan let Phil take the lead, because while he trusted Phil, he was still not sure if he trusted himself. Phil licked into his mouth, wanting to taste every part of him and Dan didn't bother to stop him.

 

He felt Phil's hands exploring, fingertips ghosting over his shoulders, down his arms... his body sang at the touch. He let his own hands wander then. Phil's skin was soft and warm and he didn't think he would ever want to stop touching him. That familiar mantra chanted in his head again: more, more, _more_ , but he let Phil set the pace.

 

The fingers ghosted over his belly now, up and up trailing over his ribs. Dan gasped into Phil's mouth as his thumbs brushed over his nipples. Phil released his mouth and trailed soft kisses over his jaw as he rubbed more insistently over the little nubs. Sparks shot through him and Dan felt his pants get much too tight again. He let his head fall back and groaned when Phil's lips found a particularly sensitive spot just below his ear.

 

 _Holy shit_.

 

They hadn't even been at it that long and he already felt like he was about to burst out of his skin. His fingers clawed at Phil's hips - _when had his hands traveled so low?_ Damn treacherous hands.

 

Phil took that as an open invitation and pulled Dan flush against him, then latched his lips on Dan's neck. The feeling was overwhelming, skin to skin, their chests touching, his extremely sensitive neck subjected to little nips and licks and kisses.

 

 _He's hard_.

 

It really shouldn't have been a surprise, but he felt like a teenager, heart hammering in his chest as he felt the hardness against his leg. And he was _sure_ Phil felt him too.

 

Well, he was definitely sure Phil felt it, because he gripped Dan's hips and pulled him closer, the denim of their jeans grinding harshly against each other. Dan's fingers gripped uselessly, scraping his nails across Phil's back as though he was trying to hold on.

 

Dan keened as Phil found a delicious spot on his neck, right over his pulse and sucked hard.

 

"F-f-fuck! Ahh!" He whimpered and he ground his pelvis again, hips stuttering against Phil's.

 

"Need you. Now." Phil moaned against his neck, his voice deep with passion, sending vibrations that shot right down to Dan's groin. He felt fingers fumbling at his belt.

 

That shocked Dan into action.

 

_Yes. Nude good. Pants bad._

 

He set to work on the pants before him and his eyes followed his hands.

 

The bulge in Phil's pants was more than he expected. Not that he'd really pictured this part in detail before - that had been too intimate in a way. And Dan hadn't cared too much - anything would have been perfect, because it was _Phil_.

 

He felt like a kid on Christmas morning, unwrapping a present. Eagerly he ripped at the belt, then fought with the button. The palm of his hand brushed over the bulge as he worked and Phil's breath hitched.

 

He smirked as he looked up again.

 

"Enjoying yourself?" He asked smugly. He stroked over the denim more insistently and Phil groaned.

 

It was empowering to make Phil make those noises.

 

But Phil wasn't deterred. He retaliated by pressing his hand against Dan's pants, hard. Dan tried to stifle a gasp but a helpless groan escaped him anyway.

 

"About as much as you." Phil panted back, then finally managed to get Dan's zipper down and pulled his pants past his hips. Dan almost lost it as he felt Phil's hand grip him _there_ , the warm soft fingers curling around him. He squeezed his eyes shut and let his head fall back as he clung on to the belt loops of Phil's pants.

 

"You're so beautiful. So beautiful." Phil panted as he moved his hand up and down Dan's length. He peppered kisses along the neck that was stretched before him.

 

"Nng... o-oh... s-s-stop." Dan gasped. "W-want to see you."  


He was absolutely sure he was going to blow in exactly three seconds if Phil kept this up.

 

Phil relented on his neck, but kept a loose grip on his shaft, pumping lightly, as if he wasn't about to relinquish his prize.

 

Dan fought to keep focused, his fingers clumsy on the zipper, but finally he managed to yank the pants and underwear down enough to release Phil's length. Dan felt his mouth water as his eyes landed on it - it was a bit longer than his own and definitely thicker. It stood proudly, with a slight curve.

 

_Gods..._

 

Phil kept a slow and steady pace with his hand but Dan felt the arousal pooling in his belly already. He didn't want to come too soon, so he resolved to focus on getting Phil off. But that was only an excuse to get his hands on that member and make Phil lose control. He took him in his hand.

 

It felt hot and he was solid as a rock, thick in his hand. It felt like steel covered in satin, soft but hard at the same time - and unforgiving. He rubbed his thumb over the thick head, spreading the liquid already gathered there. Phil groaned and sped up his own hand.

 

They wouldn't last long. It was too new, too much, too exciting to leisurely explore. This was way overdue, they had waited too long for this.

 

Their mouths found each other again, almost biting at each other in their passion. Dan knew he was close, but he didn't want to be the first to come. He wanted to see Phil come, wanted to be the one who caused that. He increased his speed, squeezing and massaging, the pre-come making the hardness slide smoothly through his fist. Dan pulled his mouth away, wanting to look at Phil as he let out those amazing noises.

 

And he wasn't disappointed. His electric blue eyes were almost black with passion, his cheeks a rosy contrast to his pale skin. And that mouth - lips swollen from kissing, red and wet and -

 

"Aahh-h." A brief flash of something else crossed Phil's eyes and he bit his lip. It was only brief, but it made Dan hesitate anyway. _Is he in pain? Should I stop?_

 

"D-don't stop, don't stop." Phil pleaded as he bucked into his hand. Then he redoubled his efforts on Dan, twisting his wrist just right, making him see stars.

 

"Jesus ahh! Phil!" Dan yelled as his orgasm crashed over him. As his body tensed up his own rhythm on Phil's length became erratic and rough, but it seemed to be exactly what he needed because Phil followed him over the edge with a strangled shout just as Dan came down from his high.

 

Phil's knees buckled and he sank down on the couch, just behind him. Dan didn't feel very stable either, legs shaking, so he flopped down next to him. They were out of breath, harsh pants the only sound they could make now.

 

Dan looked over at Phil. He looked wrecked. He reckoned they both did - sweaty and sticky, pants around their knees. His body was buzzing in the afterglow, like someone kept a low voltage running through it. His brain was completely empty and he could only send a stupid grin over at Phil.

 

Phil grinned right back at him.

 

"That was awesome." He mumbled, as if talking was too much effort.

 

Dan just nodded and grabbed his hand while they recovered. He was a complete puddle of mush.

 

"Nice penis by the way." He said in an attempt to compliment Phil. It wasn't the most romantic, but then again his brain had turned to goo and oozed out of his ears, so he reckoned it was the thought that counted.

 

"Thanks. I grew it myself."

 

Phil clearly didn't mind his weird compliment.

 

Good.

 

After a couple of minutes just enjoying the buzz and the closeness, Dan got up to grab them some washcloths to get cleaned up. He felt like he was walking on air, his body light and vibrating on a low frequency, as though he could take flight. His mind was quiet and filled with warmth. It was rare for him, this all encompassing satisfaction, this happiness, this peace... this love.

 

 _Look at me, halfway to hippie. Real, barefooted, flower crown wearing hippie. All you need is love_.

 

He cleaned himself up in the bathroom, then ran a clean washcloth under the hot water to bring back for Phil.

 

Phil had his underwear back in place, but hadn't gotten around to his jeans yet. He had his eyes closed as he sat back on the couch.

 

"You alright?" Dan asked as he straddled his lap. He moved the cloth over his belly, washing away the remains of their activity.

 

"Yeah, just really tired." Phil opened his eyes.

 

Dan could see he was exhausted and he could see small lines of pain around his eyes.

 

"Was it good for you? I mean, with the..." He gestured vaguely, not really sure how to ask.

 

Phil smiled. " _Really_ good. You're amazing, you know that? So don't worry. The pain killers are only now just starting to wear off. Otherwise I'm just..."

 

"Wiped?" Dan finished his sentence with a stroke of the washcloth over his stomach to accentuate the joke. But he pressed too hard and Phil hissed.

 

"Oh shit! Sorry. Are you okay?" Dan said as he scrambled to stand up. He was aghast that he'd been so careless.

 

 _You idiot! Now see what you've done!_ He berated himself.

 

Phil grimaced.

 

"Nah, it's okay. It was that terrible pun that hurt the most."

 

Dan let out a shaky laugh. "Oh my God, I'm such a klutz. I'm sorry."

 

"It's fine, already over. Now, come on and sit down. I need some serious couch potato time." Phil said and pulled him down onto the couch next to him.

 

"Yeah, alright. I understand that you need more recovery time at a certain age." Dan grinned.

 

Phil cuffed his head, but pulled him close all the same.

 

Dan should've known they'd be alright, no matter what.

 

###

 

After a few hours of anime and a hearty lunch, Phil felt loads better. He was fully immersed in the series as he remembered something.

 

"Daisies!" He exclaimed as the protagonist on TV finished up a fight with an unrealistic feat of aerobics.

 

It was a testament to Dan's knowledge and acceptance of Phil that he didn't immediately call the psych ward to order one of those stylish white jackets that closed in the back. Instead, he tore his eyes away from the screen to gaze patiently at his boyfriend, waiting for more context.

 

"Yellow gerbera daisies." Phil explained. Dan kept staring.

 

"You didn't know?" Phil asked, brow furrowed.

 

"Know what?"

 

"The bet."

 

"The bet?" Dan echoed uncertainly.

 

"Well, I'll need to order them anyway..." Phil muttered as he opened up his laptop.

 

That didn't help Dan any further. He kicked his foot against Phil's leg.

 

"What bet?"

 

"Remember Rhonda Clark, the London nurse?" Phil said distractedly as he browsed Google for an online flower service. "All the nurses made a bet that we'd get together. Rhonda wanted yellow gerbera daisies if she won. Forgot to order them."

 

Dan stared at him.

 

"Now, what should I put on the card. Any thoughts?" Phil asked him as he kept his eyes trained on the screen.

 

Dan kept staring.

 

"Dan?"

 

Phil was looking at him now.

 

"What the fuck?" Dan let out.

 

"Bethany was all up in _your_ business, Rhonda was all up in mine. I thought you knew about the bet." Phil said, genuinely surprised.

 

"And you're not freaked out? Why the hell are people betting? Nurses even? What the fuck is wrong with British hospitals!" Dan said, clearly freaking out.

 

He jumped off the couch and paced across the living room, running a hand through his hair.

 

"Dan, it's harmless! Like shippers! Besides, all the nurses have seen my penis, I don't really care if they know what I do with it." Phil rationalized.

 

"Seriously? Even after Dartford, when that intern leaked a picture of you? No way, you're not doing this!" Dan said as he paced some more.

 

"Dan, it's _Rhonda_. You know her! She's good folk!" Phil pleaded.

 

Dan held up a hand. "No way. We're not out. No flowers."

 

Phil looked at him a long time, as Dan nervously ran his hand through his hair and stalked back and forth.

 

"Alright. No flowers." He conceded. He closed the tab and set his laptop aside. "But you do want to be out sometime, right? Not just friends and family, but everyone?"

 

"No. Maybe. I don't know! Look, that whole article deal shook me, right? It shook you, too. I'm just so angry that everyone feels entitled to know everything going on in our lives." Dan said, biting his lip.

 

"Hey, c'mere." Phil said softly. He held out his hands and Dan took them, pulling Phil to his feet from the couch. Phil intertwined their fingers as they stood toe to toe.

 

"Nobody can _make_ us do anything, okay?" Phil told him and leaned his forehead against Dan's. "Whatever we want, that goes. I wanted to tell Rhonda, because I like her and she'd love to hear this. But this is _our_ decision. Together. You're right, you do have a say in this."

 

"Thank you." Dan kissed him on the corner of his mouth. "I'm just tired of being out of control."

 

"We control what people see. Remember I told you that when we just met, when you were just getting started on YouTube? We can have some fun with this. Drop some hints, then spread some misinformation."

 

Dan smiled at that. "That sounds like fun."

 

The doorbell rang.

 

"Isabel and Ella?" Phil asked.

 

"Probably. I'll open it."

  
While Dan answered the receiver, Phil quickly tidied up, then resumed couch potato position.

 

His cousins came in and Dan followed after them.

 

Unfortunately, Phil hadn't cleaned up properly, because the first thing cousin Ella did when she came into the living room, was pick up a washcloth.

 

"Eww, what's this doing here." She said with a disgusted face.

 

"Err..." Phil blanked for a second. "Dan spilled some... probiotic yogurt."

 

Dan mouthed _what the fuck dude_ at him from behind the girls.

 

"Why didn't you use paper towels?" Cousin Isabel asked nonplussed.

 

"He spilled it on me." Phil rushed, trying to keep a straight face.

 

The girls looked at Phil weirdly, but on the other hand, they didn't throw the cloth away in utter disgust, so they probably thought this was one of Phil's weird antics.

 

"I have sensitive skin." Phil finished lamely.

 

Cousin Isabel shrugged and cousin Ella walked out to deposit the item in the hamper downstairs.

 

Dan dared to breathe again. That was close.

 

This was going to be more difficult than he'd thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear... Never wrote M-rated stuff before this story. I'm going to curl up under my desk in a ball of anxiety now. Please give me some feedback, I am so bloody nervous about this.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 

It was a mystery to him why they'd agreed to let Phil's cousins visit in the first place. It would have been so easy to excuse themselves, just say that Phil needed rest - but no. They had set this agreement months ago, when the girls had booked the trip and had complained loudly how expensive hotels in London were. Phil hadn't had the heart to deny them. Even when Phil was in the hospital, they'd let the arrangement stand, figuring they could just get a key and come and go as they pleased.

 

Neither of them had anticipated they would be home and very much freshly in a relationship when the agreed upon days finally dawned.

 

So here he was, stirring pasta sauce for four, patiently waiting for the spaghetti to get just past the _al dente_ stage.

 

He looked up when Phil snuck into the kitchen, looking over his shoulder to check whether anyone else was in the vicinity.

 

"Hi." Dan whispered with a smile when he felt an arm slip around his waist. The coast was clear, then. For now.

 

"Hmm, that looks delicious." Phil murmured as he dropped a butterfly kiss on the back of his neck, just above the line of his shirt.

 

"And the food looks pretty good, too." Phil continued and Dan could feel his grin against the top of his spine.

 

Dan burst out laughing.

 

"That's got to be the lamest -" He stopped mid-sentence when he felt Phil withdraw quickly. Not a second later, Ella waltzed into the kitchen to get a drink.

 

He should've known they'd never get more than a moment alone. Stupid cock-blocking evil villain powers.

 

Phil busied himself with getting cutlery out of the drawer, looking anywhere but Dan and Dan double-checked whether the sauce was properly spiced, though he could hardly taste a thing when Ella passed behind him to grab a cup.

 

Dinner was a quiet affair.

 

Despite having been so intimate with his boyfriend earlier, Dan now felt he was miles away from him. He stole a quick glance at him across the table. Phil was picking at his food, taking small bites. He wasn't used to a lot of food yet and he looked like he felt as awkward as Dan did. He looked away quickly when he caught Dan staring at him.

 

Dan turned his attention back to his plate. He was aching to be close to Phil, to talk and eat, just the two of them.

 

He'd had his fair share of pining and yearning over the past few years, but it was completely different now that he knew that he could actually _have_ what he wanted. Not too long ago he didn't even think it would be possible to be in a relationship with his best friend and roommate.

 

It had been a completely irrational fantasy to entertain. He had dreamed, of course, but it had been on the same level as, say, wishing he had magical powers or a pet pterodactyl. Because seven years of _just friends_ was a darned long time. So he hadn't really expected it to become true.

 

Now that it had become true, however, the genie was out of the bottle. The lamp could not be un-rubbed - nor could a few other parts, for that matter. That made it _so_ much harder to miss. This wasn't just some deluded utopian daydream, this was possible, tangible, _happening_... He had literally had a taste, knew what he was missing right now. He knew what they could be doing if the gossipy cock-blocking sisters had not been around.

 

Just two more nights, then they would have the house to themselves again. _Two more long, lonely nights..._ Dan pondered morosely as he pushed a meatball around with his fork.

 

"You guys are much more entertaining on YouTube." Isabel remarked dryly after a few more silent minutes.

 

"Then go back into London." Dan snapped.

 

Phil shot him a reprimanding look. Ella had stopped eating and Isabel looked offended.

 

"Sorry." He muttered, rubbing a hand over his face. "We're just barely getting back on our feet here."

 

" _We_?" Ella interjected. "I don't recall _you_ being injured, so you don't get to be pissed at Isabel. She was just making a joke."

 

"Yeah, don't be such a drama queen." Isabel said angrily.

 

Dan was ready to stand up and give them a piece of his mind, when Phil spoke up.

 

"Stop it."

 

Phil's voice was calm and controlled, but Dan knew him well enough to know he was angry. He saw Phil's fork was shaking and he desperately wanted to soothe him, hold his hand. He couldn't.

 

"We've _both_ been through a lot. Dan has had a few really tough weeks and he's been there for me every step of the way. If you don't respect him, you need to book a hotel. Because I really don't have the energy for a fight right now."

 

Dan's heart swelled with love to hear Phil talk about him like this, take his side and fight for him. Phil was looking at his cousins, eyes hard and unwavering as he willed them to back down.

 

Dan loved this quiet strength, he admired it. He had seen it before, especially in the past few weeks, that Phil was strong, but it still amazed him. He was emotionally and mentally very steady - much more than Dan, who could fly off the handle so easily and cheer up just as quick. Phil was easy-going all around, not quickly shaken or aggravated, instead letting things come as they may. Until you crossed his line. Then he was steadfast and didn't back down.

 

Over the years, Dan had started to call Phil's no-go's his hard lines. Cheese was a hard line, swearing on his channel was a hard line and now, apparently, getting pissed at Dan when Phil was around was a new hard line. He found that he liked that very much. He shot Phil a grateful smile, but Phil still had his eyes trained on the girls and didn't look at him. It made Dan's heart swoop to be defended like this.

 

Ella was the first to crack.

 

"Sorry. I didn't mean it." She said timidly.

 

"Yeah, me neither. Guess it's hard to imagine what it must've been like for you guys." Isabel added, looking demure.

 

"It's fine." Phil let out a breath and closed his eyes. He looked tired.

 

Dan wanted to give him a hug, kiss him... but he picked up his fork without further ado.

 

They finished dinner in silence, though none of them ate much more.

 

###

 

They all thawed out a bit when they put on a mindless sitcom after dinner.

 

Dan was seated in the armchair and looked over at Phil, who had joined the girls on the couch. He seemed more relaxed than at dinner.

 

He covertly sent Phil a text. The girls seemed immersed in the tv show, so he figured they wouldn't look at Phil's phone.

 

_Thanks for sticking up for me_

 

Phil fished out his phone and smiled when he read it.

 

 _Am I your knight in shining white armor now?_ He sent back.

 

 _I'm not a damsel in distress :/_ Dan typed back, trying to suppress a smirk.

 

 _And I'm not a knight_ :( though he sent a quick, but real smile at Dan from across the room, then resumed his poker face.

 

 _And you don't have armor. Just shining white skin_.

 

 _Thick skin :)_ Phil texted.

 

 _Thick head_. Dan typed, rolling his eyes.

 

 _Is that an insult or are you sexting me?_ Phil replied.

 

Dan snorted and nearly burst out laughing at that. He tried to keep a straight face but he already saw that the faces of the girls on the couch were turned to him. A blush crept up his neck, inflaming his cheeks. He quickly stuffed away his phone and tried his hardest to be very interested in the show on TV.

 

He wished the argument with Phil's cousins had escalated. Then they'd be alone at least. He wondered if he could get away with picking a fight just so they would leave, but Phil would probably be angry at him if he did.

 

Two more nights, he reminded himself.

 

###

 

They fell into some movie on Netflix after the sitcom had run its course.

 

Dan had no idea what it was about, some sort of detective, mystery solving plot. It didn't look too violent - well, apart from the mind-boggling murder that set the scene, but that was surrealistic enough for him to watch.

 

He still had trouble watching shows with too much blood and gore. Death and injuries were treated so callously in Hollywood, like a human life could be so inconsequential to just be set aside.

 

He shook his head as though he was a dog shaking off water. He was getting close to an existential crisis again, time to back off before he got sucked into the whirlpool of doom.

 

Phil shot him a look and quirked his eyebrow as though asking _are you okay?_ Dan smiled at him, reassuring him that he was fine. Phil knew he was prone to these deep, dark thoughts. He'd get him out, even if he did manage to slip in.

 

An hour later, the movie took a turn that he hadn't seen coming.

 

Fire.

 

The main character had gotten trapped in a burning house. Intense camera shots of fire and smoke and pure terror on the protagonist's face flew by on the screen before they'd had a chance to react.

 

Phil was white as a sheet.

 

Isabel fumbled for the remote, but it fell off the arm rest, next to the couch. She scrambled to find it quickly, but not before some more powerful scenes passed by. The entrance blocked by burning debris. Black smoke filling the room, the hero of the story struggling to breathe, clawing at his throat, searching for an exit, gasping for air in vain -

 

The screen went black.

 

Isabel had finally gotten the remote and turned the TV off.

 

Dan stared at Phil, his heart in his throat. Phil wasn't moving, eyes fixed on the black screen. This had come _way_ too close, Dan knew immediately. He could tell it by the fear in Phil's eyes.

 

He moved swiftly, sitting down on the coffee table in front of Phil. He placed one hand on Phil's knee, the other gently shook his shoulder.

 

"Hey. You okay?"

 

Phil seemed to stare through him at first, still zoned in on the TV behind him, but then his eyes refocused.

 

He let out a tremulous breath, his body shuddering as he did. He blinked rapidly, as though he was trying to erase the images from his brain.

 

"You're alright, it's fine, just a movie." Dan asserted, rubbing Phil's arm in a soothing motion.

 

"Yeah. Yeah. No, fine. s'fine." Phil swallowed thickly. "It was just a bit... unexpected. I'm fine, thanks. We can keep watching."

 

But Dan wasn't having it. He switched Netflix to a mindless comedy, then squeezed Phil's arm softly before moving back to his chair.

 

Phil excused himself half an hour later, still pale and shaken. He went straight to bed.

 

###

 

Ella and Isabel went to bed not much later. Dan could tell the impact of the past few weeks was sinking in for them too. He didn't really know how to feel about that.

 

Dan tried staying up late. He had a feeling Phil might get nightmares and he wanted to be there for him. When he went to bed around 1 AM, he went to Phil's room first.

 

Phil was sleeping, but not peacefully. He had a grimace on his face, body tense. Dan tried to get him to relax a bit and stroked his face, his arms, his hair. He didn't dare do much more, for fear of waking him up.

 

He left their doors ajar when he went to his own bedroom.

 

###

 

The nightmares did come. Dan was in a shallow, restless sleep when he heard a sharp cry from the next room. Before the sound had fully registered, he was out of bed, stalking out of his own room.

 

Phil was clearly in the middle of a very intense nightmare, because he was gasping for air, groaning when his body twisted and contracted.

 

"Phil, Phil, wake up!" Dan shook his shoulder roughly.

 

It was scary to see him dream about choking, because it very nearly looked like the real thing. Dan gave his shoulder another shake, this time successfully.

 

Phil wheezed as he gulped in big mouthfuls of air.

 

"You're alright, you're fine. It was only a nightmare." Dan whispered to his panicking boyfriend.

 

As Phil slowly calmed down, a ruffled Ella and Isabel appeared in the doorway.

 

"Is he alright?" They asked hesitantly.

 

"Yeah. Go back to bed. He just needs some space." Dan said, waving them off.

 

As they backed away, he couldn't help but think that it was the girls' fault. Because of them, Dan was sleeping in his own room. He shouldn't have to think twice about what way he could comfort Phil and take care of him. They had been doing great when it was just the two of them at home. They needed the time to heal - physically and mentally - and to draw strength from each other.

 

The sun rose as Phil fell back into a fitful sleep, tears drying on his cheeks and Dan sat next to the bed on the floor, holding his hand, occasionally napping.

 

One more night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I regret starting to write M-rated stuff. I like it too much. What has become of me... angst, fluff & porn. Freud would have a field day with me.

Chapter 5

 

When Phil woke, he was alone. He heard Dan's voice coming from the living room, where he was talking with Isabel in low tones. Phil couldn't hear what they were talking about.

 

He felt worse than he had in days.

 

He'd slept terribly, dreams filled with smoke and heat and terror. He had probably twisted and turned a lot, because he was sore, abdominal muscles and chest aching. He groaned as he struggled to get upright. His head was pounding and he felt dizzy and nauseated.

 

He groped around for his glasses and glanced at the clock. 9.28 AM. He'd slept a long time in total then, but he felt anything but rested.

 

He made his way to the living room, walking slowly, stiffly and squinting his eyes against the bright lamps.

 

"Hey, come sit down."

 

Dan had risen from the couch when Phil walked - no, trudged in.

 

"You look like shit. How are you feeling?" Dan asked, as he grabbed his arm and steered him to one of the dining chairs.

 

"Just slept badly." He tried to wave it off but he was sure his whole body betrayed his words.

 

"When's the last time you took pain meds? Did you take them before you went to bed last night?"

 

"Ugh, that's what I forgot..."

 

"Phil... seriously? Wait right here." Dan scoffed and walked off.

 

"Not going anywhere." Phil sighed as he closed his eyes.

 

"We're kind of imposing on you, aren't we?" Isabel asked shyly.

 

Normally Phil would deny that until he was blue in the face, but he couldn't even bring himself to do that. Hell, he wasn't even sure he could pry open his eyes right now. All he wanted was to be with Dan, alone, cuddled up on the couch. Wasn't it stupid, to feel more lonely when there were more people around you?

 

Isabel took his silence for her answer.

 

"Sorry. We'll be out of your hair soon though."

 

"It's fine." Dan had returned and addressed the girl. "It's kind of weird for all of us."

 

Phil felt Dan take his hand and press two pills into his palm. He swallowed them dutifully and then blindly accepted the glass that was pressed into his hand next. It felt like the lights were burning through his eyelids, his head about to explode.

 

"The doc wasn't lying about keeping up with those meds, huh?" He heard Dan say softly.

 

He didn't answer. Dan knew his reply.

 

###

 

The girls left soon after. At least this day they'd be out late, eating in the city and catching a West-End show. He was grateful, because he really needed a day to recharge.

 

The pain meds started to kick in not too long after and Phil could open his eyes again. The pills still did nothing against the exhaustion and soreness he felt.

 

"That scared the crap out of me." Dan said, carding his fingers through Phil's fringe.

 

"Sorry." Phil said softly.

 

"Feeling a bit better now?"

 

"A bit." Phil couldn't help but smile at the worry in those brown eyes.

 

"Think you could eat?"

 

"A bit." He repeated with a grin.

 

He ate a small bowl of cereal and then went down to the bathroom while Dan cleaned up.

 

Taking off his clothes was a sluggish process, as he tried, fruitlessly, to spare his aching muscles. His shirt smelled of sweat and fear. It disgusted him. He threw it in the hamper.

 

He showered slowly, making sure to keep his hair away from the water spray. There was no way he could even lift his arms high enough to properly wash and dry those unruly locks.

 

Drying off and pulling his pajama bottoms back on seemed like a simple enough task, though it took him far longer than it had the previous days. The pain might be dulled, but only so long as he didn't make any hasty movements. The soreness wasn't diminished at all. It was like he had taken three steps backwards. Even brushing his teeth took a lot out of him.

 

When he was finally done, he gripped the counter and let his head hang. He grunted as his muscles clenched and a wave of nausea passed through him. He was so tired. It was amazing what difference a bad night's sleep and forgotten pain pills made. Dan had given him two pills just now to compensate, where he had only used one pill every few hours the previous days. The double dose made him feel lethargic and only seemed to take the edge off.

 

If it hadn't been for Dan, he wasn't sure how he'd be standing here now. It was incredibly convoluted, confusing, to have the best time of his life and the worst time of his life happen at the same time. Their newfound relationship brought him an enormous amount of happiness and that definitely helped him through some of the tough times, but it was also very difficult to keep their attraction hidden.

 

In a way, Phil felt guilty that his... situation put a blemish on the start of their relationship. Because of him, this wasn't the carefree, exciting beginning it should have been for them. It was worry and nightmares and pain and taking it slow.

 

He looked up.

 

The maimed ghost in the mirror gazed at him blankly.

 

He hardly recognized himself, but there was no denying it was him. He hated what he saw.

 

His eyes, usually the part he liked best about himself, were dull and listless above dark rings. His hair was limp and his skin had an unhealthy tinge. He looked weak. Thin and ragged. The scars hadn't changed. It would take months for the one on his chest to fade, and his stomach would forever bear the marks.

 

Phil had never been very prone to self-consciousness, but now it battered at him like a storm.

 

Dan would want someone happy and cheerful, someone young and energetic to match his life spirit. Instead he got saddled with all the worry Phil had caused him. He needed someone to make him feel on top of the world, someone who could take him on fun dates and have great sex with. Not this scarred and broken remnant of someone who might've been right for him at some point in the past.

 

"Phil?"

 

Dan knocked on the door.

 

"You've been in there for a long time. Are you alright?"

 

Phil gripped the counter tighter, not breaking eye contact with the reflection in the mirror.

 

Dan opened the door when Phil didn't answer. He looked at him.

 

"Are you alright?" He repeated uncertainly.

 

Phil contemplated that for a bit.

 

"No." He said, frowning at his own admission.

 

Dan moved behind him, molding himself to Phil's bare back and resting his chin on his shoulder. Dan wrapped his arms around him, without adding too much pressure. His eyes locked with his boyfriend's in the mirror.

 

"Talk to me."

 

Phil hesitated a second.

 

"Look at this. I look like crap."

 

Dan sighed and kissed his shoulder.

 

"I love you, but I think those pills are addling your brain."

 

Phil stared at his body in the mirror uncertainly, letting his eyes glide over the scars. Dan followed his eyes with his hands, stroking lovingly over every bit of skin that made Phil furrow his brow.

 

"Sorry I'm such a mess today. You deserve better." Phil whispered brokenly as he pushed away his hands.

 

"Stop it. I know you're hurting but now you're just saying nonsense." Dan resumed his caresses, running his hands lightly over his ribs and Phil gave up trying to push him away.

 

"I just want to be here for you. There's nowhere else I'd rather be. I hate seeing you like this, but you're going to get better. Yes, you'll have scars. That's just going to remind me how incredibly brave you are. I'll love it just as much as every other part of you." Dan murmured into his skin.

 

Phil looked at him in the reflection and tried to smile.

 

"I love you too. So much, you can't even imagine how much. I just want to be a good boyfriend to you, but I can't even take you on a proper date."

 

Dan snorted. "That's _temporary_. And besides, we've never done anything in the proper order. I moved in with you five years before we kissed. Believe me, any date before I'm fifty is just about okay with me. We've got a whole lifetime."

 

Phil twisted around in his arms and kissed him.

 

"I love you so much." He whispered.

 

"You're going to be fine, you know that right? I guess you're not used to being depressed, but take it from an expert: it'll just take a bit of time. I'll be right here with you." Dan reaffirmed his statement with another kiss. "Now, come on. We could both use some more sleep."

 

"In the middle of the day? Shouldn't we-" Phil started hesitantly.

 

"We should _nothing_. We can afford some time off, so we'll take it. I don't care what anyone thinks I should do on my day off. Zero Fucks Policy, remember." Dan replied firmly.

 

Phil studied him, a small smile forming on his lips.

 

"You know you're going to have to change the name of that policy sometime in the future?"

 

"There's the Phil I love, optimistic and making lame puns." Dan laughed. "See, you can't even be depressed for long, not even in these circumstances. You are such a cinnamon bun." He smirked as he used the internet's nickname against him.

 

"Urgh... that's not going to be your nickname for me now, is it?" Phil rolled his eyes, but he seemed cheerier already.

 

"No? What about Danish pastry?" Dan continued as he wrapped his arms tighter around his boyfriend.

 

"No."

 

"Cream puff?"

 

"Dan..."

 

"Eclair?"

 

"We need to stop watching _Bake off_."

 

"Flan?"

 

" _Flan?_ "

 

###

 

They slept well into the afternoon.

 

When Phil woke, he felt a lot better. He was still a bit sluggish, but in a relaxed way. His muscles felt less achy as well. The extra sleep had worked wonders, making him see the world with clear eyes again. He reckoned he'd been a bit more sensitive than usual. It was strange, because normally he was much more balanced. These were strange times...

 

Dan was still asleep, using his chest as a pillow. Luckily he had been smart enough not to lay on the side with the broken ribs - that would've been a lot more uncomfortable. One arm was flung over his belly and one leg draped over his.

 

He looked like the patron saint of peacefulness. If that saint was also part octopus... and not particularly saintly.

 

Dan wasn't wearing a shirt - he'd discarded it before bed. Phil figured he just liked what it felt like to be skin to skin with someone you loved. He was completely on board with it. All of Phil's senses were filled up with Dan and he found he liked it a lot.

 

Phil ran his fingers over Dan's back, skating over his spine. Dan let out a satisfied hum and nuzzled further into his chest. Phil reckoned that meant he should keep going. He stroked lightly over any part of skin he could reach, even daring to let his digits stray along the top of his pajama bottoms. He didn't go further than that; he preferred that Dan would be awake for that part.

 

His fingers roamed along the vertebrae again. That was clearly an erogenous zone for Dan, as he let out a little moan and squirmed against him. He stored the information for future reference. He could have some fun with that. He imagined Dan on all fours in front of him as he kissed and nipped down his back, Dan pushing back against him -

 

_Whoa there. Calm down._

 

He let his fingers run through Dan's hair instead. That was innocent enough.

 

Dan woke up gradually. Phil actually first noticed when he felt light, small kisses on his chest. He looked down. Dan was smiling up at him through half-lidded eyes.

 

"You look gorgeous." Phil said, mouth dry. That was a sight to have in your bed.

 

"So do you." Dan smiled.

 

Phil was about to disagree with him, but opted to stay quiet. Dan picked up on it anyway.

 

"You still don't believe me." He said sadly.

 

"Sorry." Phil whispered.

 

Dan scooted up a bit and pressed his lips to Phil's.

 

"You know you don't have to be sorry about everything, right? You're not Canadian."

 

Phil let out a laugh despite himself and brought a hand to Dan's cheek. Dan leaned in again and they started kissing slowly. Phil's mind felt blissfully empty as all his senses were overtaken by the man he loved. _My Dan_. He thought dizzily as he felt a nimble tongue lick over his bottom lip, seeking entrance. He obliged it - what else would he do?

 

Dan spent some time lazily exploring his mouth and Phil moaned into him. Jesus, he was a great kisser. He was already somewhere between relaxed and aroused.

 

That depraved mouth moved down, trailing kisses along his jaw and neck. Dan was licking and sucking lightly along his Adam's apple, not hard enough to make marks but definitely enough to make him gasp and throw his head back on the pillow.

 

Dan surprised him by pulling back and straddling him fully, sitting back on his legs.

 

"You're hard." It wasn't a question.

 

"Your fault." Phil said hoarsely.

 

"How are you feeling? You seem better. I mean, can we..?" Dan asked hesitantly.

 

Phil ran his hands up Dan's thighs, nearly all the way up to the point where his pants were obviously tented.

 

"I think we should." He grinned.

 

Dan grabbed his hands in his own. "That wasn't the question." He breathed, as though he was steeling himself for bad news.

 

"We can. I feel loads better. And I'm going to be upset if we don't." Phil reassured him.

 

"Good." Dan sighed, looking very relieved. He got up off the bed and started to take off Phil's pants. Once they were off, Dan stared at him intensely, letting his eyes rove up and down his body. Phil felt very self-conscious again, but luckily Dan provided some distraction when he discarded his own pants.

 

Dan stood back for a second, letting Phil see all of him. Phil felt his heart flip over when he saw him standing there, naked and hard and all for him. He couldn't think of any words. He wanted to say how beautiful he looked, how hot, sexy, anything, but the words seemed feeble and inadequate.

 

Dan didn't seem to mind his silence, because he moved back to the bed and straddled him again. As he leaned over to kiss him again, their lengths met and both of them gasped. Dan pulled back a little so as not to grind too hard on him.

 

It felt like the blood in his veins was starting to heat up and simmer, so quickly arousal was spreading through him. Phil let his fingers strum along the ridges of Dan's spine - he had guessed correctly, that was a pleasurable area for him. Dan bit down on his own lip and rolled his hips in retaliation. When Phil let his head fall back in bliss, Dan latched onto his neck and sucked hard.

 

"O-oh. Hm- wait, I don't want to come too soon." Phil whimpered as he gripped Dan's hips to steady him.

 

Dan stared at him with an mischievous glint in his eye.

 

"Don't worry. I won't let you."

 

Phil sighed as Dan lavished his chest with little kisses and he reached between them to stroke Dan's shaft. That made him stutter and gasp - Phil liked that he was making that happen. Dan sat back and reveled in the touch for a minute, letting out happy little sighs, eyes closed. When the movements sped up however, his eyes fell open and he groaned. He wrapped his fingers around Phil's wrist, pulling back.

 

"Later." He gasped and he scooted back.

 

Phil tried to figure out what he was going to do and he didn't have to wait long to understand. Dan pumped his shaft once, twice and then leaned over again. Phil let out an audible groan when he felt Dan's breath ghost over his burning flesh - and then yelped when Dan licked a broad stripe up the underside experimentally.

 

"Oh my _God_." He whimpered when Dan's tongue made a circle around the head.

 

Dan wasn't fooling around - he wrapped his lips around the head and slowly tried to take him deeper. He managed a few inches, then pulled back, letting the heated flesh slide through the tight seal his lips made. Then he sank down again, trying to take more. As he repeated his motions, he looked up at Phil through his eyelashes. Phil just about lost it - it was enough to _feel_ those lips around him, sliding up and down, but to see it? To see Dan staring at him as he did it?

 

"Ah-h, Dan, so good." He groaned and let his head fall back when Dan sucked on him. Lust coursed through him.

 

"N-not gonna last." He warned Dan with a hiss.

 

Dan pulled back before he could come, letting him slip out of his mouth and he grinned like the cat that got the cream. Phil reckoned he looked way too smug, so he gripped Dan's shaft and let his hand move slow and strong along the entire length.

 

"Oh _fuck_." Dan gasped as he nearly fell over. Phil moved his hand in the way he had learned Dan liked most and grinned as a string of curses tumbled from Dan's lips.

 

Phil estimated they were both pretty close already. He felt Dan's hand clutch at him and he decided to bring their hands together - as well as their dicks. As they slid and bucked hard against each other, Phil guided them while Dan was biting down on his clavicle, sucking hard.

 

"You gonna come for me, baby?" He growled, voice low with passion.

 

Dan keened and sped up his movements, sucking harder at the flesh beneath him.

 

Phil came in seconds, thanks to the dual stimulation and Dan didn't follow far behind him.

 

Phil was a boneless heap as he felt his overstimulated flesh slowly softening. Dan was still nipping at his collarbone as he rode out his high.

 

As Phil fumbled for the tissues that he knew were somewhere next to his bed, Dan rolled over and settled next to him with a groan.

 

"Tha' was great." He mumbled satisfied.

 

"Yeah it was." Phil agreed with a grin as he wiped the remains of their lovemaking off his stomach.

 

"You called me baby." Dan smirked at him with a blush.

 

"You liked it?" He asked.

 

"Yeah."

 

"'s better than _Flan,_ right?"

 

Dan snorted and punched him in the arm. Phil hardly felt it. He felt the heavy blanket of sleep settle over him, but he didn't mind.

 

He was achy and tired... but this time it felt pretty damn good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is highly appreciated :) love you guys!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 

The girls left the following morning in a flurry of bags and clothes and chaos. Dan thought he might be a bit mean, but if he had to be honest with himself, he'd have to say he'd never been happier to see the back of someone.

 

Dan saw them out, because Phil wasn't keen on climbing the _eight thousand_ stairs to their apartment (really, why did they have so many stairs?).

 

Ella was halfway to their cab when Isabel hugged Dan once more.

 

"Take good care of him." She said.

 

"I will." He promised.

 

She let go with a smile and grabbed her bags. Dan gave an awkward wave as the cab pulled away from the curb.

 

The knot that had been in his belly for the past few days disappeared and faded completely when the car left around the corner.

 

They were finally alone again.

 

###

 

Dan did keep a close eye on Phil.

 

He seemed much, much better than the previous days, but he was still a bit subdued. It had been very challenging to see him so down, because that just wasn't Phil. Or rather, it was Phil, but he rarely got pushed past his breaking point. It was true to his resilience that he had scraped himself together pretty quickly - albeit with a little help from Dan.

 

He wasn't fully back on his feet yet, not laughing and smiling as carefree as he used to. Dan hoped it was only a matter of time - no, he knew it. It just wasn't in Phil's _soul_ to be anything but happy and optimistic. He may be pushed down, kicked around by life, but he always got back up. He was just stumbling a little now.

 

Dan would do whatever he could to help him. That was a given.

 

Dan had never felt so protective of anyone in his life. When he was young, he'd stood up to a bully in their street who was picking on his little brother. That had been his duty as a big brother. And when another guy eyed up his girlfriend when he was in school, he felt jealous and possessive. This was protectiveness on a whole different scale, however. More. He felt a sense of devotion that surpassed anything he'd ever felt for his girlfriend. Not that he hadn't loved her, because he had. A lot, even, at some point. And at that point, he had thought that that was the most he could ever love someone.

 

But the love had faded and they broke up - much later than they should've done. It had taken him years to realize that what he'd felt back then was only a little bit of love and lust and an awful lot of not wanting to be alone.

 

When he met Phil not too long after that, his brain couldn't even categorize what he felt. For a start, he'd deemed himself to be straight, which meant he wasn't even considering the possibility of being in love. He'd thought the intense feelings, the strong yearning to be close with Phil, the exciting jittering of his nerves were all to do with the fact he was meeting a famous YouTuber and becoming fast friends to boot.

 

He'd never met a YouTuber before and he hadn't had a best friend before. He thought that was what his feelings meant. And the feelings of lust that swept through him, the blue eyes that haunted him when he was alone in his university dorm, slipping a hand beneath the covers? Well, he reckoned that was just the aftermath of his long-term relationship. He probably missed the intimacy, the sex. His brain was just working through all the changes and got some things mixed up.

 

After seven years, Dan could now safely conclude his brain _wasn't_ just extremely slow on the uptake.

 

It was love.

 

###

 

They had a proper lazy day.

 

Dan learned that Mario Kart was even harder to play when they were also trying to cuddle up on the couch. And it was _very_ distracting that Phil just so happened to kiss his neck when Dan was leading in the last lap.

 

"That's cheating!" Dan grumbled as he squirmed away.

 

Phil giggled as he steered his kart past Dan's, now stuck in the bushes along the track. He won the race easily, well over the finish line when Dan's kart trundled up at last.

 

"You know my neck's a weak spot." Dan complained.

 

He didn't like losing Mario Kart. He was a pro at that game.

 

"Your neck is my weak spot too. It was your own fault, you know you shouldn't stick it in my face." Phil replied blithely, already picking out a new car for the next game.

 

"Oh, right, now it's my fault."

 

"Really, I was lucky I could even focus. Because I - oh no! It's still there! Noooooo-" Phil cried dramatically and leaned in extremely slow, like he was in slow motion, to press his lips to Dan's neck again.

 

Dan let out a very unmanly yelp - not a squeal, thank you very much - when Phil sucked on his neck. He tried worming his way out of the prison of arms he was caught in, but to no avail.

 

"Lemme go! Ah!" He tried to sound stern, but he was laughing at the same time, which undermined his statement.

 

Phil relented for a bit - just his lips, not his arms.

 

"I can't, Dan." He panted. "The neck... it's too strong... I can't... help it!" He forced out, like he was controlled by an outside source.

 

He resumed his attack, this time biting down a little as he sucked, scraping his teeth over that sensitive skin.

 

Dan's subsequent yelps quickly turned into moans as Phil's hands moved lower and lower...

 

Mario Kart was soon forgotten.

 

###

 

Making out on the couch was the best thing Dan could remember doing. When he sagged down after their heavy session, he was completely spent. Laying in his sofa crease felt ten times better after an orgasm.

 

Phil grunted next to him.

 

Dan opened his eyes in worry.

 

"You okay?"

 

"Controller is digging into my back." He grunted as he tried to get his limp body lifted just enough to remove it.

 

"Oh... I never got my rematch." Dan pouted. He didn't have the energy for a game now, no matter how good he was at it.

 

"Well, you did finish first just now."

 

Dan snorted.

 

"But that means _you_ won, you dingus."

 

"Nah... you can't lose at this." Phil grinned lazily.

 

"Sounds like the perfect game for you, then." Dan teased.

 

"Feels pretty perfect, yeah."

 

Dan's mouth went dry. It was amazing how these words, so casually spoken, could make his heart swoop. It was probably the softness in those blue eyes as he said them, Dan thought. Phil had a way of completely throwing him off his game.

 

"I love you. You know that, right?" He said hoarsely.

 

"I do. I love you too."

 

"Good."

 

"I'm going to take a shower. Do you want to join me?" Phil asked.

 

"Wow, you're overestimating my recovery time." Dan laughed nervously.

 

Phil rolled his eyes.

 

"Not like _that_ , just a shower."

 

"Oh..." Dan felt a bit silly.

 

"I just figured... conserve water... Never mind. It's fine." Phil waved it off awkwardly.

 

"No, of course I want to shower with you, you goofball." Dan hastily answered. "Sorry. My brain's not really functioning."

 

Phil looked visibly relieved and grinned as they got up and made their way downstairs.

 

###

 

In a way, it felt more intimate to be naked together when they were _not_ hard. Warm water cascaded down on them as they exchanged chaste kisses. Their hands were exploring, leisurely running over wet skin. Dan reveled in the closeness, the attention Phil was lavishing on him as he gently washed every inch of body he could reach.

 

He washed Phil's hair, massaging the shampoo with slow, determined movements. Phil seemed to melt against him as Dan rubbed his fingers over his scalp in just the right places, making little circles that made Phil sigh and made his eyes slip closed in bliss.

 

His breath hitched when soapy hands slid down his back, lower than they'd ever gone before. Phil kept it innocent, letting his palms move smoothly over his butt, hardly squeezing.

 

Phil pulled back a little and grinned. Then he flicked his eyes over to the bathroom mirror. Dan followed his gaze.

 

"Mirror butt."

 

Dan stared at him.

 

"Did you just?"

 

"I did." To emphasize, he squeezed a bit harder.

 

Dan shook his head and raked fingers across his scalp. Phil shuddered and fell silent, subjecting himself to the ministrations. It looked like he was in heaven, so relaxed and open, fully entrusting himself to Dan. That was an incredibly powerful feeling, but it also gave Dan an overwhelming sense of responsibility.

 

After he was done with Phil's hair, he let his fingers trace over his torso, lips trailing after them.

 

"You're beautiful." He muttered as his lips ghosted over the scar on Phil's chest.

 

Phil cupped his chin and brought Dan's mouth back up to meet his. Dan thought he was just doing that to shut him up.

 

No matter. He would keep telling Phil until he believed him.

 

###

 

They shot a gaming video the next day. It felt like old times, playing the Sims in their little office. They did sneak some kisses but those cuts were the first on the editing floor.

 

And they made _way_ too many innocuous remarks for the video to be perceived as entirely platonic.

 

Dan sighed. It would take a lot more editing than he'd done yet. They even _looked_ so freaking in love, there was no way he could edit it all out. He predicted there would be a lot of 'Heart-eyes Howell' video edits after this.

 

It would be easier just to come out. After tiptoeing around each other when Phil's cousins had visited, it felt amazing to just be in a relationship and do what people in love do. As long as it was in the privacy of their home, of course.

 

But he wasn't ready to be out on camera. Hell, he wasn't ready to be out to many more people than Louise at this point. People wanted to know every single thing going on in their lives and Dan wasn't about to relinquish this last bit of privacy.

 

"Do you think we can upload it like this?" He asked Phil when he was done editing.

 

Phil watched the video and then turned to him, studying him closely.

 

"We're very... _us_ in the video. And I'm okay with that. I really like watching it back. I'm guessing you don't like it that much, though. Too out."

 

 _Nail on the head_. Dan thought.

 

Dan bit his lip as he pondered a few bits of the video. Then he shook his head.

 

"I'm going to edit a bit more. Just a bit."

 

"Alright. Edit as much as you want." Phil bent down and kissed his cheek.

 

He ended up editing out a lot, though he saved the original footage carefully.

 

Maybe one day.

 

###

 

The video felt disjointed when he watched it back a day after uploading. And he hadn't been able to stop all the fangirls picking up on every glance or touch.

 

It was useless. It was frustrating. Who was this person he was trying to portray on the internet? It certainly didn't feel like _him_ anymore. Just a bland PG-13 version of a guy he used to be.

 

He went to the living room to discuss it with Phil, but just at that moment Phil's phone rang.

 

"Oh, it's my mom." Phil said as he picked up.

 

Dan felt his stomach churning as Phil merrily chatted away, skillfully avoiding the topic of his new boyfriend.

 

Dan made up his mind. He might not be fully ready to come out, but he could take a few small steps. He took a piece of paper, wrote something on it and shoved it under Phil's nose.

 

_Tell her._

 

Phil fell silent mid-sentence. Then he took the pen as he tried to casually talk with his mother.

 

_You sure?_

 

Dan nodded at him.

 

Phil swallowed thickly. He seemed nervous, but not as nervous as Dan was feeling. It felt like butterflies were doing an interpretative dance inside of him.

 

"Mom. I have something to tell you. Dan and I... we're together."

 

Dan clenched his hands, toying distractedly with one of the throw pillows.

 

Then Phil's eyes lit up and he grinned. Dan felt relief wash over him.

 

It was okay.

 

Then Phil spoke up again, frowning at the phone.

 

"What do you mean, dad owes you a twenty?"

 

Dan couldn't help it. He burst out laughing.

 

It _was_ okay.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some lovey-dovey stuff!

Chapter 7

 

Dan made the next small step a few days later. He had decided he would come out to his own family.

 

"How do you think they'll take it?" Phil asked him when he explained his plan during dinner.

 

"I'm really not sure. I never even told them I'm bisexual."

 

Phil dropped his fork in shock.

 

"No way. Really? Why, though?"

 

Dan shrugged as he picked at his food.

 

"Dunno. It just never came up. We're not as close as your family is."

 

"We are pretty close. I told my parents I was in love with you maybe a few months after we moved in together in Manchester." Phil reminisced. "My mom called me every week after that, asking if 'anything of note' had happened. That lasted nearly six months."

 

Dan laughed. "You're kidding! I remember those phone calls! I thought it was sweet you had such a close bond with your mother."

 

"She was just checking whether I'd taken advantage of you already."

 

"Touching." Dan remarked dryly.

 

"So what's your plan? How are you going to tell them?"

 

"I'm not sure. I'm going to visit them and wing it from there. If I think too much about it, I'll only end up making myself go crazy."

 

Phil rubbed a foot up his calf soothingly.

 

"It'll be fine. Want me to come with you?"

 

"Nah. I'm not sure how they'll react. I don't want to put you in that awkward position. I feel like it'll be awkward enough with just me there."

 

"Dan, it's awkward _everywhere_ you go." Phil smirked.

 

"Hey!" Dan grumbled, but then relented. "Okay, you're right, but still."

 

"I'll be there if you want me to, okay?" Phil said earnestly. "This is totally your call."

 

"I know. I'll think about it." Dan smiled and bumped his ankle against Phil's in an affectionate manner, as a way of saying thanks.

 

###

 

Dan ended up going the next morning, alone. He took a cab despite the distance; no way was he to be seen in public transport while he was a nervous wreck like this.

 

What on Earth should he say? How would he say it, when? What would they say? His breathing picked up speed as the cab crossed the town limits and his parental home came closer and closer. He tried to shut his brain up by mindlessly scrolling through Tumblr on his phone. There was no way he could think of a clever, poignant way to deliver the news.

 

His mother greeted him at the door with a warm hug. His father was seated at the kitchen table and his mother moved to the counter and started preparing lunch. He gave him a short, stiff hug as panic started to take over his brain. His father returned to his newspaper, seemingly already immersed in one of the articles, but the stiffness in his shoulders told Dan that he was waiting for something, paying very close attention.

 

"How are you doing, dear?" His mother asked as she turned her attention back to her cutting board.

 

"Erm, yeah, good. I guess. Weird couple of weeks." Dan said, trying to lean casually against the kitchen door, though he looked anything but casual.

 

"It's been quite strange, hasn't it?" She replied, almost disinterested. She wasn't even looking up from the tomatoes she was dicing. "Say, could you find me the mustard? It's somewhere in the fridge."

 

Dan ducked into the fridge dutifully.

 

"So..." his mother continued casually. "How's Phil?"

 

Dan pushed cartons and veggies aside as he searched.

 

"Erm, yeah. Good. Better. But he's frustrated he's recovering slowly."

 

"Ah. Yes, I can understand that. Anything you can do to distract him?" His mother asked nonchalantly.

 

 _Oh shit, she's fishing._ Dan thought as he peered into the fridge. _Wait, what was I searching again?_ Stupid nerves.

 

"Er, yeah. Distraction's good."

 

"Yeah? What kind?"

 

"Kissing seems to help." He blurted out to the broccoli in front of him.

 

 _Oh fuck_. _Open mouth, insert foot._

 

"Yep, that usually helps." His father piped up from behind his paper. He sounded entirely unaffected.

 

"Hm, it would, wouldn't it? It's good that you two have each other." His mom said happily.

 

Dan's brain tumbled over itself in an attempt to analyze that, as he stared blindly into the refrigerator. They weren't mad, or disgusted... They weren't even surprised.

 

"Dan, the mustard is right there." His mother's voice came from beside him. He nearly jumped a foot into the air. Since when had she become a ninja?

 

He found it - it was indeed right in front of him. He fumbled with the condiment, fingers clumsy as he turned and handed it to her. She immediately set it aside and wrapped him in a big hug.

 

"Congratulations, bear." She whispered, squeezing him tight.

 

Dan felt his eyes go moist and he let out something between a laugh and a sob.

 

"Why is no one surprised?" He asked weakly.

 

His mother let go and before he knew it, his father hugged him tight. That made Dan even more emotional. He felt tears sliding down his cheeks, he didn't even know why.

 

"We figured this was why you wanted to come visit. You sounded so nervous on the phone." His dad said.

 

"I never even told you guys I was in love with him." He laughed through his tears.

 

"You never needed to." His father replied gruffly, ruffling his hair.

 

"Oi, watch the hair!" He protested with a bark of laughter.

 

And just like that, he was out.

 

His nerves fell away and a lightness spread through him. He knew he was slowly breaking down the walls with which he'd surrounded himself all these years and it turned out, what was on the other side wasn't as scary as it had seemed.

 

His brother came in not much later to join them for lunch. Dan found it easier to tell him about his new relationship.

 

Adrian _was_ surprised.

 

"Dude... you mean you've been in the closet for _seven years_?" He asked dumbfounded as he stared at his brother.

 

"Not really in the closet." Dan protested, though he didn't know how he could explain himself.

 

"No? Because it sounds like you were so deep in the closet, you were in Narnia." Adrian laughed. Dan took a swipe at his head.

 

"Watch it, twerp." He groused, but he felt the love for his family swell in his heart.

 

"But seriously, it's brilliant news. Congrats, bro."

 

"Thanks." Dan grinned.

 

He must be the luckiest guy on Earth.

 

###

 

He was still smiling when he was in the cab back home. He didn't even know why he'd been worried in the first place.

 

Phil had asked him to update him as soon as he could. In fact, he'd made him swear it. That had been a little strange, but hey, it was Phil.

 

 _Went great!!!_ He texted, followed by a slew of emojis; balloons, dancing girls, hearts, the whole nine yards.

 

 _Knew it :)_ Phil texted back, barely a minute later.

 

 _They say you should come with me next time_. Dan typed happily.

 

 _I will! Really happy it went well but I never worried about it_ _;)_ Phil replied.

 

Dan was still grinning and typing his next text when another bubble popped up.

 

_How much longer is the drive?_

 

Dan glanced over at the navigation system.

 

_26 minutes. Why?_

 

_Tell your driver to take exit 17, then left at the lights. Once you get to the *second* village along that road, take the first right after the inn called The King's Arms, then continue down the road until you get to the mill._

 

Dan looked at the message, gobsmacked.

 

 _Phil, what is this?_ He typed. What on Earth had he planned?

_Trust me. Now I have to go, have some stuff to do. Only call me when you get lost. Xxx_

 

Excitement coursed through him. As a master control freak, he didn't like surprises usually, but he trusted Phil completely. It intrigued him to see what would happen if he let go, let another take the reins. A few more bricks of the wall around his heart crumbled to dust as he swallowed and said to the driver:

 

"Sir? I'd like to change my route."

 

###

 

Sure enough, when he arrived thirty minutes later, Phil was waiting for him on a low stone wall in front of the mill. He was wearing what Dan could only describe as... well, as a shit-eating grin.

 

"Hi." Phil grinned widely. He remained seated, glancing surreptitiously at the cab.

 

"Hi." Dan breathed. He kept his distance, as the car was still behind him.

 

He looked around at the surrounding landscape. The mill looked dilapidated, overgrown with moss. It was definitely abandoned. They were maybe a mile outside a village in the hilly English countryside and except for the mill, there were no other buildings near. A shallow brook ran a little further along, the sound of the water mixing with singing birds

 

It was sunny - it had been all day. It was spring and wildflowers grew everywhere and in every color under the blissfully warm sun. The bushes and trees were all shades of green. It was a piece of British heaven.

 

Dan turned to see the cab disappearing as the road curved behind a copse of trees.

 

Alone.

 

Phil had stood up and walked up to greet him. He kissed him slowly, deeply and a wave of love and affection made Dan's throat close up. He loved this man so _so_ much.

 

"Oh my God, Phil." He whispered. "What's all this?"

 

"Come, I need to show you something." Phil smiled. He looked very pleased with himself.

 

He took Dan's hand and intertwined their fingers. Dan's heart was stuttering in his chest as he allowed himself to be pulled along a cobblestone path down the hill, towards the river. Just before an ancient but beautiful looking bridge Phil turned left and guided him along a bend in the river. After a few yards, Dan noticed something.

 

"You didn't!" He exclaimed.

 

A big picnic blanket was spread out in the grass along the river bank, plates, glassware and all sorts of food on top of it.

 

"I promised you an outside date, didn't I? Figured I'd court you properly." Phil grinned.

 

"How on Earth did you get it all here?" Dan asked, flummoxed. "When did you do all this? Oh my God!"

 

"I texted Louise last night when you told me you were going to your parents. She knew this place, I knew you'd be back for dinner... we made it happen. Well actually, Louise bought and cooked most of this, so I owe her big time. She drove me here and set up everything while I waited for you. She just left."

 

Dan couldn't contain himself anymore and kissed him hard. Phil happily kissed back, hugging him tightly.

 

"This is the best first date ever."

 

"And do you always kiss on the first date? I might turn out to be a creep." Phil asked airily.

 

"I'll take my chances."

 

The spot proved to be perfect. It was secluded enough so there was no way anyone from the road could see them - even if it hadn't been abandoned. They had a fantastic view of the ancient bridge and mill and the miles and miles of rolling hills. Wildflowers and bushes and trees were vivid beneath a clear blue sky.

 

Phil served him Ribena in a champagne glass and they clinked their glasses.

 

"To us." Dan said simply.

 

"To us." Phil echoed.

 

Louise had made far too much food but they tried to sample as much of everything as they could. They talked and laughed and kissed. When they were done eating, they took off their socks and shoes and rolled up their pant legs to wade into the little stream. As they stood there, Dan kissed him again. It was too much, to be here with the love of his life in this beautiful location. It was so much more than he ever thought he could have.

 

They did take lots of pictures. Pictures of them together, kissing, cuddling or just plain staring at each other. He wanted to cherish this moment, lock it in time, freeze it forever. This was just the next best thing.

 

Dan flopped down on the blanket again a while later, pouring them both another drink.

 

"So... how did you handle the conversation with your parents?" Phil asked him as he settled down next to him.

 

Dan had almost forgotten that happened earlier that day. It already felt like ages ago. He laughed into his drink.

 

"Same way I handle all my mature conversations. I hyperventilated, then blurted out something quasi funny and tried to hide in the fridge." He joked.

 

"You'll be a handful once I get you in front of an altar."

 

Dan froze.

 

"Sorry. Too soon?" Phil cringed at his own remark.

 

Dan let the word reverberate around in his brain. Altar. Just five letters to represent a commitment of a lifetime. It felt big. Big but fitting.

 

He mulled over his words.

 

"It is where we're headed, right?" He asked.

 

"I think it is." Phil nodded. He looked nervous.

 

Dan squeezed his hand.

 

"What do you think our future will look like?" He asked.

 

Phil looked like the answer was burning on his lips, but he had lost the nerve to talk.

 

"I promise I won't freak out." Dan asked softly.

 

Phil nodded and swallowed.

 

"A big stone house. A dog, running in the yard. You, beside me, my ring on your finger." He looked nervously at Dan before he continued. "And two kids. Does that scare you?"

 

"That sounds perfect." Dan whispered, his eyes going moist again.

 

They kissed again, but this time it felt like a promise.

 

###

 

Later that night when he lay awake next to a sleeping Phil, he scrolled through their pictures again. His breath hitched as he came across one absolutely perfect shot. They were looking at each other, love so clear in their eyes, the background absolutely stunning...

 

And Dan had a sudden vision then, of them, this picture framed on their mantle when they were seventy years old, regaling their grandkids with the tale of the day they decided to become a family.

 

It was the happiest day of Dan's life.

 

So far at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's left comments or kudos, you make me so happy!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff then smut then fluff. Pretty simple stuff.

Chapter 8

 

Phil finally felt he'd gotten back some equilibrium. Their outside date had literally given him some fresh air and it had cleared out the few remaining black humors of insecurity and doubt in his mind. He felt like himself again. Well, even better than that. He felt like he was part of something bigger than himself.

 

Dan was still asleep, curled around him in a tangle of limbs. He was snoring softly - it was a far more adorable sound than any 6'3 man had any right to make. His hair was a mess, sticking up in all directions. They were both naked, their skin soft and warm against each other.

 

With a free arm, Phil fumbled for his phone. Dan's unconscious mind was not keen on the movement, as he let out a grumble and pressed himself closer, wrapping his arm tighter around Phil's torso.

 

It was uncomfortable, bordering on painful, but Phil found he cared very little as Dan let out a satisfied hum, smacked his lips and nuzzled against Phil's chest with a small smile around his lips. Phil's heart melted at the sight, filling his chest with a warmth that nearly brought tears to his eyes.

 

His future husband. How insane was that thought. Not that they ever did anything conventionally, but still... this was next level mind-blowing. He hadn't proposed, of course. They had just talked about it. They would take all the steps in their relationship in their own time. There was no rush; they had all the time in the world to savor just dating, being boyfriends. Engagement, marriage, kids, that would all come in due time.

 

Yesterday had been perfect. They had talked for hours, laughing and kissing. It had felt so close, so intimate. Phil was practically bursting with happiness and he wanted nothing more than to shout from the rooftops that Dan Howell was _his_.

 

But they weren't out (Yet? Ever?) so Phil opted for a platonic show of gratitude to the brunette currently smothering him. He opened Twitter and started typing.

 

_First day outside since the hospital! Thanks for always being by my side @danisnotonfire Had a great time. Feeling blessed!_

 

Phil had chosen one of the more innocent pictures to go with the text, with a background that did not reveal the location of yesterday's date. They were standing close, leaning against each other with big grins on their faces. Dan had an arm slung loosely around Phil's shoulders. It was a great picture and platonic, though there were probably already people typing about 'phan' as soon as he posted it.

 

Since yesterday, Dan was out to his family. He had been ecstatic. Phil hoped that meant that he wouldn't be so scared to come out to the rest of their friends and to the internet at large. But he knew better than to press the issue; that would only cause an opposite reaction.

 

The doorbell interrupted their peaceful morning cuddling and roused Dan from the depths of his sleep - though not completely.

 

"You go this time." He mumbled against Phil's chest.

 

"Then you need to let go of me." Phil answered logically.

 

"No I don't."

 

"Yes, you do, Dan." Phil sighed and pushed at his shoulder.

 

Dan was displeased, but allowed Phil to escape his embrace anyway. The doorbell rang a second time while Phil was struggling with his clothes.

 

"I dare you to go naked." Dan smirked from the bed. "And ask the mailman who has the bigger package."

 

"Sure. And then I'll ask if he ships it." Phil threw over his shoulder as he hurried towards the receiver. He grinned as he heard Dan burst out laughing in the bedroom.

 

###

 

When Phil made his way back upstairs, he noticed he was not so out of breath and achy as before. He felt relief; at times his recovery had seemed so slow, it felt like he would never improve. But then there were moments like these, where he could see how far he'd come.

 

He deposited the package on the desk in his bedroom. Luckily, it had been quite light. Dan was still in bed, browsing his phone while he lay on his belly. The blankets were thrown back, leaving his bare back exposed. His butt was only just covered.

 

Phil wasn't having that. He drew the blankets lower, exposing Dan's bottom. Then he gingerly stretched out over the bed, laying his head on his cheeks.

 

Dan shot him a curious look over his shoulder.

 

"What are you doing?" He asked.

 

"I like your butt. It's a good pillow."

 

Dan rolled his eyes.

 

"It's a misshapen butt, Phil. It rejects my jeans and defies belts."

 

Phil quirked an eyebrow at him, as if he was mental. Then he lifted his head and kissed one butt cheek.

 

"Don't listen to him, my pretty. If I was you, I would want to expose myself all the time, too." He told the smooth globes.

 

Dan snorted.

 

"You're such a strange person."

 

"No I'm not. I'm the butt whisperer."

 

"Point made."

 

Phil retaliated by sinking his teeth in the soft skin of the buttocks, making Dan yelp. Then he kissed it again.

 

"I read your tweet, you know." Dan said dangerously.

 

"So? It was just friendly." Phil said in his most innocent voice.

 

"I already replied 'that's what best friends are for'. I publicly shoved you back in the friendzone. That's what you get for being a cheeky motherfluffer."

 

"You can't stop me from posting platonic tweets." Phil replied brazenly.

 

"And you can't stop me from farting on your face if I wanted to." Dan threatened.

 

Phil pouted and laid his head down again.

 

"I just want to be cheek to cheek with you."

 

"Get out."

 

Phil ignored him and started leaving little kisses everywhere he could from his laying position. Dan's backside, but also his upper thighs, were lavished with attention. The kisses were soon interspersed with bites, hard enough to make Dan gasp and squirm.

 

Dan was liking it - he could not deny that. Phil felt daring and bit down softly on the inside of Dan's thigh, right where it met his ass.

 

"Ah!" Dan cried out, more in surprise than in pain. Phil thought that was a good sign. He dropped a soft kiss on the skin, then bit down again a little harder. Dan groaned and his hips jerked. Phil pulled back and sat on his knees.

 

"Turn around." He commanded.

 

Dan obliged immediately and Phil soon saw why. He was already hard.

 

"I guess you liked that." He remarked, a little surprised. He hadn't seen that coming.

 

"Don't you dare kink shame me." Dan panted with a red face. Whether that was from shame or excitement, he didn't know.

 

"I wouldn't dream of it. I love seeing you so hard." He replied honestly.

 

Before Dan had a chance to reply, Phil had wrapped his lips around the head of his length. Dan let out a strangled ' _oh fuck!_ ' and tangled one hand in Phil's hair.

 

It had been a long time since Phil had given a blowjob, but that didn't deter him. The sounds Dan made turned him on beyond belief. And since Dan was so vocal, it was a lot of fun to just explore and hear the noises that he was extracting from Dan. Apparently, making his tongue into a point and drawing it slow and hard along the vein on the underside made Dan go ' _oh fuck yeah_ ', while tonguing the slit warranted an ' _oh God, ahh_ '.

 

He tried to take him deep after a while of playing around. He sucked steadily as he let his lips slide lower and lower... Dan was tugging on his hair, which made his own cock feel like it was about to explode. He pulled back until his lips nearly released the head, then sank back down again. He didn't go as far and he didn't suck as hard, as he wanted Dan to enjoy it as long as he could.

 

He pulled away completely after a few more minutes, pushing against the frantic fingers on his head. He released Dan's length with a soft, wet pop.

 

"No, nonono, don't stop. Oh fuck, please. Don't stop." Dan whimpered, eyes big in distress.

 

"I want to try a finger." Phil said, voice hoarse from the activities.

 

Dan's eyes widened as he realized the meaning.

 

"Yes, please, just keep going." He begged.

 

Phil pressed a thumb to the underside of Dan's hard on, just above the root to stave off orgasm. It seemed to calm Dan down a bit as he groaned and stopped talking.

 

"Middle drawer, little tube. Only if you're sure." Phil directed. Dan had never been with a man before him and that didn't seem to faze him, but Phil wanted to make sure he wasn't doing anything he was uncomfortable with.

 

Dan seemed to be sure, as he nearly ripped the drawer out of the nightstand. With trembling fingers, he handed Phil the tube.

 

"Have you ever felt your prostate?" Phil asked as he unscrewed the cap and squirted some of the slick liquid on his finger.

 

Dan shook his head. His eyes were as big as saucers and he seemed somewhere between extremely turned on and terrified.

 

"It'll feel really good, I promise. But I'm not going to do anything you don't want." Phil said carefully, trying not to let show how much he wanted to do this. He didn't want Dan to feel obliged to do anything.

 

"I want it." Dan croaked. He sounded absolutely wrecked and damn if that didn't set Phil's blood boiling. Dan laid back and let his legs fall open. Phil had to press down on the base of his own cock hard, because that sight nearly sent him over the edge.

 

He had to make this good for Dan. He softly stroked Dan's length with one hand, as if soothing him, and brought his other hand lower. Dan seemed apprehensive as Phil's index finger sank into him slowly.

 

"Any pain?"

 

Dan shook his head. "No. Just feels weird." He sounded almost disappointed.

 

"Just you wait." Phil promised as he gently pulled his finger back and pressed it back in again. He was keeping away from the prostate on purpose, wanting to use two fingers to stimulate him better. He wanted this to blow Dan's mind.

 

"Can I try two?"

 

Dan nodded. Phil lubed up his middle finger as well and soon it slid in next to the first digit. Dan froze at the intrusion, the stretch more profound now.

 

"Keep breathing. You're doing great." Phil encouraged as he kept his movements slow and shallow. His other hand kept up a similar slow rhythm on Dan's cock.

 

It took Dan a minute to get used to the sensation, but then he relaxed around him and even started making little satisfied noises.

 

"You looks so hot right now." Phil said, almost in awe.

 

He changed his angle then, seeking out his prostate. It didn't take very long to find.

 

"Oooh!" Dan cried out as his eyes flew open. His hands were gripping the bedding, clutching at it desperately.

 

"There it is." Phil said smugly as he massaged the little nub a bit more. He still kept the pressure steady but light, because Dan looked like he could blow any second. He stilled his other hand just in case.

 

Phil wasn't too far from coming either. Dan was writhing on his fingers, completely lost in the sensation, making the most delicious noises as Phil stimulated him from the inside. He was whimpering and cursing and letting out a string of _pleasepleaseplease_. His body was taut as he tried to deal with all the sensations. It was the hottest thing Phil had ever seen.

 

Dan's hand crept up to his own cock, which had been abandoned by Phil. Phil swatted it away - he would take care of Dan, not Dan himself. He made sure his fingers kept the same pressure and rhythm and he wrapped his lips around the length again. At the same time, he squeezed the root hard, making sure Dan couldn't come just yet.

 

Dan screamed then, almost bucking off the bed as Phil sucked him in deep. His movement made him slip even deeper, the head bumping against the back of Phil's throat. If it hadn't been for the tight seal Phil had made, like a makeshift cockring, he would've come right then and there.

 

But Phil couldn't last much longer. Even though he wasn't touching himself, he already found himself on the edge of the precipice. He was swallowing thickly around Dan's cock - it was a bit too deep for him but it made Dan go crazy. He let go of the base, setting Dan free. Dan bucked his hips once, twice, as Phil's fingers became erratic against his prostate and he came hard with a scream. Phil drank him down, almost gagging around him, which only seemed to prolong his orgasm.

 

Phil's eyes were watering as he tried to keep steady to let Dan ride out his orgasm, but his hand found his own length and he groaned hard around Dan as his own orgasm rocked through him.

 

He pulled back when he saw Dan collapse back on the bed, completely spent. As he withdrew his fingers, Dan whimpered.

 

"Ohh fuck yeah, Jesus, Phil."

 

"Does it hurt?" He asked. He was hoarse as all hell after the workout his throat had just gotten.

 

"No, 's fucking awesome." He laughed tremulously, squeezing his eyes closed. His body was still trembling from the force of his orgasm and the onslaught of all the sensations.

 

Phil collapsed next to him. They didn't even bother to clean up before they succumbed to exhaustion.

 

###

 

Phil was sore beyond belief when he woke two hours later. He'd strained his damaged abs a lot, but it was all good. He had never felt better.

 

Dan was grinning at him through half-lidded eyes. He seemed to be in the same boat.

 

"Hey." He whispered.

 

"Hey. How are you feeling?" Phil asked. He was still a bit hoarse.

 

"Like I just felt my prostate for the first time and then had my brains sucked out through my dick." Dan looked like that, too, laying like a limp, sticky mess on the bed.

 

"That's what I love about you. You're always so poetic and romantic." Phil quipped.

 

"You've earned the title of butt whisperer by the way." Dan said.

 

"Yeah? It was good?"

 

"You can do that to me anytime. It was amazing." He replied with a blush.

 

"Good."

 

"Good."

 

They remained silent for a while, just relaxing and enjoying the closeness. Then Dan broke the silence.

 

"Can we get a dog?"

 

"We'd need a house with a garden." Phil replied.

 

"Then can we also get a house with a garden?" Dan asked shyly.

 

Phil looked at him. That was probably the easiest question - because there was only one answer.

 

"Yeah. Yeah, we can."

 

"Awesome." Dan grinned.

 

"Yeah. It is." Phil grinned back.

 

They might take their time on marriage and kids, but a dog was something they both wanted as soon as they could.

 

That part of their future couldn't come soon enough.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's left kudos or a comment, I love you guys!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 

Dan was trying to get some editing done, he really was. They'd avoided work as long as they could, but now it was time to actually do something. Projects needed to move forward, emails needed to be sent. Phil had a little more leeway, but Dan was quickly running out of excuses why he couldn't get anything done. And he could hardly say 'sorry, I'm getting in touch with my gay side'. Well, he could, but that was not what he wanted to do.

 

He had insisted that they work in their own, separate rooms, because they had a tendency to... _distract_ each other. But unfortunately for Dan, he was editing another of their Tumblr Tag videos and he had no choice but to look at the two of them exchanging too-friendly banter and salacious comments. He played back a few clips of Phil looking at him with unadulterated love, staring so openly he might as well call the video 'We're totally disgustingly in love, deal with it'. With a sigh, he edited those parts out.

 

A low chuckle interrupted his thoughts. He looked up. Phil was in the doorway, arms crossed.

 

"Phil, we need to work." Dan sighed, exasperated. "And I really want to get something done before our friends come for dinner."

 

"I know. PJ just texted me, everyone's already in London and they're going to be here earlier than planned. I wanted to hold them off to give you some more time, but I didn't know what to tell them." Phil said apologetically.

 

Dan let his head fall back with a groan and closed his eyes. He shoved his mouse away with a huff.

 

"I give up. The gods are against me working. Who am I to defy them."

 

He felt Phil's fingers brush across his cheeks, then settle on the base of his skull to tilt his head back further. Before Dan could open his eyes, he felt soft lips - upside down - on his own. Phil kissed him gently, cradling his head and moving their mouths together in this weird but strangely pleasurable position.

 

"I knew Spiderman was on to something here." Phil said when he pulled back a little later.

 

"It was totally Kirsten Dunst who thought of that." Dan countered. He felt a little light-headed and it made him a bit giddy. Or maybe that had very little to do with his physical position.

 

"Come on, they'll be here in an hour or so. I'll help you finish at least one thing so you don't feel guilty." Phil said as he stroked his hair.

 

"Don't you need to do something as well?" Dan asked, quirking an eyebrow.

 

"Nah, I did some email but then I ended up looking at houses."

 

Dan perked up at that.

 

"You did?"

 

"Yup. Now come on, let's get one work thing out of the way and then I'll show you a few cool ones I found." Phil grinned.

 

Dan had never finished editing so fast. Then he played back their Tumblr Tag video for Phil.

 

"You left a lot in this time." Phil remarked, keeping his voice neutral.

 

It was true. They'd stumbled upon a lot of Phan-related posts and Dan hadn't edited out as much as he normally would. For example the part where they'd reacted to a photoshopped wedding picture. Phil had remarked off-handedly that he would never give Dan such a gaudy ring as the one in the picture, because it wasn't him. And Dan had lightly replied he knew him so well. Normally, that take would be cut before you could blink. Dan left it in.

 

"Yeah. It's just banter and it doesn't prove anything. I feel like this is more us. I didn't like how I over-edited the Sims video. It felt so blah." He shrugged. "And besides, we can have some fun with this. How did you put it? Drop some hints, spread some misinformation?"

 

"Are you saying you want to come out sometime?" Phil said, eyes lighting up.

 

"Yeah, I think I do. Not right now, though. But what if we find a house and we move in a couple of months? We can't just say we platonically bought a house together. In the mean time, it seems like a lot of fun to throw out mixed signals and send the internet on a wild goose chase." Dan mused with a grin. "I mean, look at all the weird stuff about us on Tumblr. I'm going to enjoy mind-fucking the people who draw me naked, strapped to a bed, begging you for mercy."

 

"And are you just going to gloss over the fact that you saved that image for future reference?" Phil said lightly.

 

"Shut up." Dan said, blushing brightly. "Just show me the houses."

 

###

 

They had decided to come out to their friends that night after dinner. Dan was a little nervous as he ate and he guessed Phil was too, judging by the way he kept stealing glances at him.

 

He soothed him by rubbing his foot up his leg, but kept his eyes averted in case he alerted anyone around him. He kept up the reassuring movement all through dinner, though Phil hardly seemed to relax.

 

PJ finished his last taco with a contented hum.

 

"Nothing like a good dinner to whet the appetite for a game!" He declared as he rubbed his stomach. He elbowed Phil, who was sitting next to him. "Any preference?"

 

Phil looked uneasy and Dan knew he was trying to find a way to subtly steer the conversation to their announcement. Sophie had started listing off possible games to play, however.

 

"We could do Werewolves? No, there's not enough of us for that. Munchkins? Oh, do you guys have Catan?" She rattled excitedly. Trust PJ to find a girlfriend who was more enthusiastic about games than he was.

 

"No, no, no. None of that'll do." He waved off the suggestions with a frown, as though he was swatting flies away. "But never fear, I have just invented a new game. It's a little short, but I like it."

 

Dan raised his eyebrow. "And what sort of game warrants such an overly dramatic introduction?" He drawled.

 

"Glad you asked." PJ said, smirking. "It's called 'who does Dan Howell think he's been playing footsie with all dinner?' Catchy title, right?"

 

Dan froze, as did all the other people at the table. His foot also halted its movement against - well, apparently _not_ _Phil's leg_. He was staring at PJ, who seemed to enjoy himself way too much at this moment.

 

For a few heartbeats, everyone was silent. Then the girls burst out laughing, which also broke PJ's restraint. Dan and Phil both went red as tomatoes.

 

"Alright, you busted us. Very funny." Dan grumbled. "Please don't take into account that we felt very stressed and self-conscious in order to break the news to you in a manner that we were comfortable with."

 

PJ just wheezed with laughter while Phil buried his face in his hands.

 

"No, really, don't feel bad. You shouldn't feel at all ashamed for what you just did." Dan snarked at PJ.

 

"Oh, come on, Dan! It's just some good natured ribbing." PJ guffawed as he kicked his leg.

 

"I'll give you some good natured ribbing." Dan growled - but then realized what he'd said. "I mean - ah Jesus."

 

"Save that for Phil." Sophie piled on, who was wiping tears of laughter from her eyes.

 

Dan rolled his eyes. Well, at least they hadn't placed bets.

 

###

 

Their friends had taken the news well, and with a lot of excitement, so the night turned out to be a lot of fun. After their friends had left, Dan tidied up in the kitchen. Phil moved behind him, wrapping his arms around him and kissing his neck. This was becoming a sort of ritual, to have this little moment every night after dinner. Dan couldn't help but wonder what other sort of rituals they would develop.

 

"Sorry I outed us." Dan mumbled. He still didn't know how he'd mistaken one leg for the other, but there was nothing he could do about it anyway.

 

"It's fine, love."

 

Dan's heart skipped a little at being addressed like that. He made up his mind and took out his phone.

 

"That's a little rude when I'm trying to woo you, Dan." Phil admonished him, butting his head softly against Dan's.

 

"What should we put on the card?" Dan asked, ignoring him as he typed away.

 

"Card?" Phil asked confused. Then he looked on the screen and saw that Dan was ordering a bouquet of yellow gerbera daisies. Phil let out a breathy, surprised laugh and mumbled into his neck. "Oh my God, I love you."

 

"I'm not putting that on Rhonda's card."

 

In the end they wrote a little note to Rhonda with the date they'd gotten together and the request to keep it confidential. Dan barely even hesitated before he hit send.

 

"That's the first outsider we're out to." He remarked.

 

"But not the last?" Phil asked.

 

"Not the last."

 

###

 

Over the next few days, they looked at houses on the internet and even called up a financial advisor to discuss the monetary side of things. The last thing they wanted was to fall in love with a house they couldn't afford. Luckily, they'd saved up a lot of money, so their budget wasn't bad at all.

 

They just hadn't anticipated there was so much to choose.

 

"Okay." Phil said as he leaned back on Dan's bed, notepad in hand. "What do we definitely want?"

 

Dan snuggled up next to him.

 

"Big garden, not overlooked. And a big kitchen, so we can have a table and chairs there."

 

Phil scribbled it down and asked, "How many bedrooms?"

 

Dan hesitated at that. "It's got to be future-proof, yeah? No sense moving again in a couple of years."

 

Phil nodded his agreement, but remained silent.

 

"Five." Dan said decisively. "One master bedroom, two offices and two extra."

 

Phil grinned at that and wrote it down.

 

By that night they had a list of seven houses they were going to view.

 

###

 

They were viewing the seventh of seven houses in the span of three days. And all seven had been a bust. Bathroom too small, attic too creepy, dismal state of repair... they'd seen it all, sometimes all in one and the same house. And some houses had been perfectly pleasant, just not _it_. They'd hoped the last house on their list would at least be a success, but their hopes had fled as soon as they saw the garden was smaller than the pictures had made it look and was also overlooked by nothing less than a high school.

 

"I'll give you guys a moment to discuss." The real estate agent said, inclining his head of impeccably styled hair and exiting the room as fast as his stiffly pressed suit would allow him.

 

Dan felt absolutely knackered as he sank down on a couch, placing his head in his hands. Phil kneeled in front of him, taking his hands in his. Dan looked at him through bleary eyes.

 

"We don't know what the hell we're doing, Phil. None of these houses are right for us." He whispered.

 

Phil pressed his lips to Dan's forehead.

 

"We'll find it, baby. Don't be discouraged. We're both pretty good at holding out for the one, right?" He smiled.

 

Dan snorted. "I'm not going to wait seven years for this."

 

"And we're not going to pick the first house that seems acceptable just because we just want it over with. We're going to go home, get our minds off it for a few days and start fresh. Okay?" Phil said softly, squeezing his hands.

 

Dan smiled at him gratefully and kissed him - just a short peck on the lips.

 

As they left the house and the real estate agent locked up the door behind them, his phone rang. Dan and Phil waited patiently, though they wanted nothing more than to get back home. The stylish man answered the call with a disinterested, monotone greeting, but his attitude suddenly flipped right around as he listened to the caller.

 

"No, really? The buyers pulled out? Is it back on the market? No, no. Yes, do that." Their agent said in hurried tones. Dan looked at Phil with surprise. Phil shrugged, he didn't know what it was about either.

 

"Ah. And are you there? Good. Wait for me. We're right around the corner, just five minutes. No, no, don't call her. Don't do anything, I think I have an interested couple here. Right. We'll be there sharpish." He ended the call.

 

"If you have a bit more time, I may have a very interesting property. Would you like to see it?" He asked them, though the fact that he was already leading the way gave them very little choice. So of course, they went with him.

 

"The asking price is over your budget, but I think I can do a deal. The owners are keen to sell quickly, they are moving to the US within a month and can't delay. Buyers backed out because of a divorce." The agent said, panting slightly as he hurried down the street. "Very popular property this, you wouldn't want that on the market, no sir."

 

As he turned the corner, they entered a quiet lane, fully grown oak trees on either side, almost obscuring the houses. A tall hedge further obscured the front garden. As they passed through a gate, a beautiful double-fronted Victorian house was revealed.

 

Dan's mouth fell open and he stared in open amazement at the house. It was free-standing, with twin bay windows separated by a big, heavy wooden door.

 

"There's no way we can afford this." Phil croaked as he stopped in his tracks, his voice laden with regret. "I'm sorry. We shouldn't go further if we can't pay for this."

 

"Do you like it enough to give it a shot?" The agent asked, in a tone that betrayed he already knew the answer.

 

They went ahead. Dan took his hand - a rare occurrence in public - and laced his fingers through Phil's, pulling him along. The current owners and their agent greeted them warmly and allowed them to roam through the house freely.

 

The house was packed with period details, like their flat was. But this place didn't just have hardwood floors, cornices and fireplaces, it also had little stained glass details in the windows and doors. It had gallant banisters and of course the bay windows. The high ceilings made it feel huge, even for them. And it was light, because of all the windows.

 

But it wasn't _chique_ or even very polished. It was lived in, with easy, overstuffed couches in one of the reception rooms in the front. The other front room was filled with children's toys, bookcases and bean bags. It felt like the house was filled with love and Dan felt it seeping into him, making him feel light and lifting him up.

 

As they stepped into the kitchen, Dan knew immediately there was no going back. It looked a bit rickety and dated, but it was big and rustic. The entire back of the house was one big open space, making it feel like a house in itself. A big wooden table with mismatched wooden chairs stood beneath one of the two big windows that flooded the kitchen with light.

 

Dan moved towards the kitchen counter as if he was on wheels, staring out into the garden. It was big, even deeper than it was wide. A gnarly oak grew all the way in the back, two swings hanging from one of the thick, old branches. Dan let his eyes roam further. There was a little pond, bushes and flowers and stretches of lawn, making it feel like a park instead of a garden.

 

He felt his eyes welling up. He was completely, head over heels in love with the house. And he hadn't even been up the stairs. He looked at Phil, who was equally teary-eyed. The soft evening light made his eyes look especially bright and Dan just kissed him, pouring all this love he felt into it. And he knew Phil felt the same by the way his breath hitched and the tenderness in his fingers as he stroked Dan's cheek lovingly.

 

A soft rapping interrupted them. Dan pulled back, wiping at the tears on his cheeks, as he turned to their real estate agent.

 

"I'm sorry to disturb your viewing, but we are in a little bit of a hurry. The owners do need to leave in twenty minutes. Shall I see if we can do a deal within your budget?"

 

"Yes." They said simultaneously and without hesitation. "And could you please see if you could include that table." Phil added with a laugh.

 

"I'll see what I can do." He said and ushered them upstairs.

 

Up the stairs, there were four large bedrooms, one with ensuite, and a family bathroom with a huge tub and a separate shower. And up another flight of stairs, there was a surprisingly spacious office under the eaves.

 

"I'm going to cry if he can't make a deal." Dan sniffed.

 

"Dan, you're already crying." Phil laughed weakly.

 

Footsteps coming up the stairs alerted them to the arrival of their agent. Dan gripped Phil's hand tight as he awaited the verdict.

 

"There are two conditions if you want this at the top of your budget. We're very lucky the owners made the previous buyers forfeit their downpayment by pulling out this close to the moving date. That brought the price down considerably, as I had hoped." He started. "The first condition is, you move in in three weeks."

 

"Done. And the second?" Phil asked hoarsely. He stood stiff as a board.

 

"You take care of the tenants until they are ready to leave." He finished with a small smile.

 

"Tenants?" Dan asked, flabbergasted. He hadn't heard anything about tenants.

 

"Perhaps I'd better introduce you."

 

He led them down the stairs and out back into the garden. Off to the side, there was a shed. The man of the house was waiting by the door; his wife had already left. Dan felt a little apprehensive. Who the hell were the tenants in the shed? He should've known this was too good to be true... If he was going to get murdered now, he swore he would haunt their agent.

 

Phil stepped in first and immediately let out an "Oh my God!" Dan hurried after him.

 

Puppies.

 

And not just any puppies. Four Shiba Inu puppies.

 

"Alright, someone needs to pinch me, this isn't real." Dan said weakly as he sank to his knees to greet one of the enthusiastic little fluffballs.

 

The current owner squatted down next to the mother dog. "The previous buyers left us in quite a pinch. They were supposed to take the two female pups and take care of the two male pups until their new owners come to get them. The mother is staying here until we see a chance to fly her over to the States. So can you two care for them in the meanwhile, and find a good home for the two other pups?"

 

"We want them. The two females." Dan said without hesitation. He glanced over at Phil, who was holding one of the pups.

 

"I don't think you need to ask him for approval, son." The homeowner laughed and clapped his shoulder. "He's already got one of the girls. Here's the other." And suddenly Dan had a yipping, squirming ball of happiness in his arms. Her coat was a light tan, almost blonde. Phil's was more reddish with a lighter shade around the neck and the end of the tail.

 

"I'm calling her Eevee." Phil decided. Dan laughed, it was appropriate due to the coloring. He looked at his own.

 

"As blonde as Sarah Michelle Gellar, so this is Sarah." He grinned. Phil aww'ed at that.

 

"So, can we shake on this? We're pressed for time." The owner's real estate agent urged from the door opening.

 

"Just promise me one thing, boys, before we let the suits take care of the details. Make this a happy home. It deserves that much." The man requested.

 

They could definitely shake on that.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit long because I couldn't find a good point to split. So here you go. Last chapter I thought I would round up with one more chapter but that didn't fit the story. I reckon it's a couple more.

Chapter 10

 

It almost felt like they'd just left a wild party, senses dulled after all the sounds, the sights, that had washed over them, but feeling so exhilarated, so overwhelmed with happiness. In the cab home, they were grinning like idiots, as though they'd had a bit too much to drink.

 

And when Dan felt like that, he tended to get a bit handsy.

 

Phil was on the phone with their landlord, notifying him of their plans to move. Because their moving date was so soon, they would be pressed for time. Dan was on the phone with the bank. The annoying waiting music he was subjected to as he was put on hold, was making him feel more and more rebellious.

 

He shot a quick glance at the taxi driver, who was humming along tunelessly to a song on the radio, looking as though he was miles away from the traffic he was supposed to keep an eye on. He paid them no mind. Dan let his hand wander, down Phil's forearm to let it rest on his hand a bit.

 

Phil shot him a big smile, his blue eyes sparkling with joy as he gave his hand a quick squeeze.

 

But Dan wasn't finished. He let his hand slide further, resting it on Phil's knee. Phil's glance changed, worry seeping in as he looked to see whether their cab driver noticed. He kept up the conversation with their landlord, trying not to let on that Dan was currently feeling him up.

 

As Vivaldi's Four Seasons entered its eleventh minute, Dan was thoroughly fed up with being on hold and it was making him very obstinate. He turned his gaze away, looking at the buildings slipping by outside the car, but to distract himself, he let his hand run up Phil's thigh, digging his fingers in as he squeezed. Phil's breath hitched, he noted with pleasure.

 

"Er, yes, we should be out by the first of - oh -" Phil stumbled as Dan let his fingers stray even further, now pressing lightly on the zipper of his pants. "No, no, I just stubbed my er.. toe."

 

Phil tried to push his hand away without drawing the taxi driver's attention, but Dan was relentless, palming him eagerly but oh so stealthily. Phil was growing hard under his hand and his face was turning a bright red.

 

"Y-yes, that'll be f-fine. I suppo-ooh-" Phil had grabbed his hand and jerked it away. "No, I'm fine, just er... nearly let something fall. Yes, sir, I am clumsy." He shot a dirty look at Dan, who did his best to keep his poker face on as he stared out the window and waited patiently for the Bank of England to take his call.

 

"I suppose you'll want it in writing, so I'll send you an email. Yes, great, thanks. Talk soon."

 

Phil hung up and if looks could kill, Dan would be six feet under right now. As the car arrived at their building, Phil got out awkwardly, holding his coat in front of him, his face bright as a tomato. In the meanwhile, Dan finally heard a human voice on the other end of the line.

 

"Oh, yes, hello. It's Dan Howell speaking."

 

As he answered it, the look in Phil's eyes changed to what he could only read as _'Revenge'_.

 

Whoops.

 

"Yes, we spoke earlier in the week. I would like to make an appointment, because we found a house."

 

Dan talked fast and walked slow, because he knew this wasn't going to end well for him. The look in Phil's eyes told him as much. Phil could tell he was stalling and he wasn't having it, pushing him forward towards their front door. Bossy... he liked it.

 

"Open the door, Dan." Phil growled in his ear. _Shit,_ that sent shivers down his spine and he fumbled with the keys as he tried to get inside. He nearly dropped them as he felt Phil pressed up behind him, unmistakably hard.

 

"Yes, as fast as you can, please." Dan wasn't even sure whether he was talking to the bank employee or the keys with which he was struggling to open the door.

 

"9 AM tomorrow? Yes, great, bye- yes, thank you, bye."

 

The door opened just as he hung up and they all but tumbled inside. Dan barely had time to double check whether he'd ended the call before the door fell closed with a heavy thud and -

 

"Oomph!"

 

Dan felt himself shoved roughly against the door, Phil kissing him aggressively. He was pressed close, one of his legs between Dan's, and the sensation making him hard as concrete as he instinctively rocked his hips forward to create friction. Phil was usually gentle and loving, so Dan was surprised by the raw lust he displayed now - very happily surprised.

 

He moaned as Phil tugged at his belt, biting down on his lip as he fought with the button. Dan could only claw at Phil's shirt as he tried to hold on under the onslaught. He whimpered helplessly as he felt long, hot fingers closing around him like a vice.

 

"Think it's funny, teasing me like that?" Phil snarled as he moved his hand up and down his length, twisting it just right.

 

It was hard and fast and Dan couldn't even answer, he was already out of his mind with passion. His mouth found Phil's neck and he sucked hard, right over the pulse point as his hips jerked in Phil's grip. The sounds he was drawing from his boyfriend set his brain aflame - he couldn't even think straight anymore. It was only pure, primal instinct that dictated his actions now as he fucked into that fist, his own fingers scratching as he sought purchase.

 

Then suddenly, all sensations disappeared. His eyes flew open as nothing more than cold air surrounded him.

 

"You know, I really shouldn't let you come for that."

 

Phil smirked. He had taken a few steps backwards, leaving Dan all alone, hard as a rock, teetering on the edge. Their front door was the only thing that was keeping him upright.

 

"Nonono, please..." His eyes were wide with despair. Phil's couldn't really mean that, could he?

 

"Jesus, look at you..."

 

Dan didn't want to know what he looked like - his brain was still trying to catch up to what happened. He only knew that this wasn't happening. No way. He wasn't going to be left here.

 

He barged at Phil, pushing him backwards so that he fell back on the stairs. Dan straddled him, fighting with his pants and finally taking him out. He wrapped his hand around them both, rutting harshly as he moved his hand. They were biting at each other again, teeth clashing and growling as they rushed towards completion. And it didn't take long. Dan hadn't been far off to start with and Phil followed after him in a manner of seconds, as they both came all over Phil's shirt.

 

They were out of breath, heavily panting because they had pretty much just gone zero to sixty in three seconds.

 

"I should wind you up more often." Dan giggled as he regained some composure. His brain was starting to take on human qualities again, allowing him to once more form actual words and thoughts.

 

Phil groaned from his uncomfortable position on the stairs.

 

"If you do that again, I really won't let you come."

 

"That's pretty kinky for two guys who haven't even had sex yet." Dan said as he went to collect his phone from where he'd dropped it.

 

"We'll rectify that soon enough."

 

"Did you really have to say 'rectify'?"

 

They were silent for a count, then both burst out laughing. With weak knees, they ascended the stairs.

 

###

 

They had a quick shower and some food as they slowly descended from their fluffy cloud, back down to Earth. Walking into the living room felt strange as the realization sunk in that they wouldn't be here anymore in a couple of weeks.

 

Phil had made a Twitter update.

 

 _The best things in life can't be planned. You've just got to let them happen_. _Making some big changes soon..._

 

Dan almost retweeted that, because it was so appropriate. But he had refrained.

 

They had decided they would come out in a manner that was not unlike the prank call they'd made to Louise two weeks earlier. Phil would toss out some hints that he was moving and Dan would remain silent on the topic. They would construe their messages in such a way that it would seem like Phil wasn't moving with Dan. And when they were finally settled, they'd surprise everyone. They hadn't properly thought everything out, as there was so much to do.

 

"Did today really happen?" Dan asked, looking to Phil, who had sunk down on the couch.

 

"You mean finding an amazing house way out of our league, that we can only afford because of a freakish stroke of luck and then get two shibe puppies? I think it did." Phil laughed as he closed his eyes in a mixture of happiness and fatigue.

 

Dan snuggled up next to him and Phil wrapped an arm around him.

 

"It's so weird that it's all going to change so fast. I mean, three weeks. I don't even know what we need to do now. I can't even wrap my head around everything." Dan said uncertainly.

 

Phil cracked open an eye.

 

"We need to make a plan. And then we need to sleep." He murmured and kissed Dan's forehead. "It'll all be okay, love. It think we were meant to find this house."

 

"The house found us." Dan corrected with a smile.

 

"It did, didn't it?" Phil grinned as he squeezed Dan closer to him.

 

###

 

They eventually grit their teeth and set off to plan the next few weeks.

 

Where happiness had turned into a daze, that daze now turned into a slight panic for Dan as they compiled their to-do list.

 

"Phil, look at all this... utilities, insurance, work stuff... there's so much we need to take care of!" Dan groaned as he scrolled down a list they'd found online.

 

Phil frowned as he perused the list.

 

"This isn't so bad. We can do this, Dan."

 

"This list is massive! And it doesn't even include everything we need to do for the mortgage. The bank will need all income details, that's going to be impossible to compile, even if we had three months. There's no way we're getting all this done in three weeks!" Dan exclaimed, pointing to the screen. His breath was coming fast and shallow.

 

"Dan."

 

Phil took the laptop and set it aside.

 

"Look at me."

 

Dan did, albeit reluctantly. Phil took his hands, rubbing his thumbs on the back of his hands in soothing circles.

 

"Listen to me. We're going to be fine. We need to be on top of this, and we need to do a lot in a short time. I'm not denying that. But we _can_ do this. We need to keep our heads screwed on. Panicking will only make us feel lousy and forget things. So, deep breath now."

 

Dan let out a tremulous sigh as he let his boyfriend's words soothe him. He was still anxious, but the panic that had threatened to overwhelm him had abated.

 

Phil worked out the list as Dan looked on, suggesting more tasks they might need to do. Then Phil picked out twelve items they needed to start on first thing in the morning.

 

"See? It already looks more manageable. We'll both take six tasks and then we can move on to the next set of priorities."

 

"We should start on these tonight." Dan mused, biting his lip. He was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt nervously.

 

"Oh. I think I forgot the most important thing!" Phil pulled the laptop towards himself again and typed at the top of the list:

 

_Celebrate_

 

Dan let out a quiet chuckle.

 

"You're so cheesy."

 

"No, I'm not. I'm lactose intolerant." Phil grinned. "But seriously. We're done for tonight. We'll get started first thing in the morning - and make no mistake, you won't get to be lazy then. But we need to take moments to relax and enjoy in order to not go mental, right?"

 

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm just a bit high strung right now." Dan said, still fidgeting.

 

"You are tense." Phil frowned as he let his hands slide down Dan's arms. "C'mon, I'll give you a massage." He pulled Dan to his feet and led him to his bedroom.

 

"A massage?" Dan said uncertainly as he allowed himself to be dragged along.

 

"I think you need to de-stress a bit before you can celebrate." Phil kissed him then, gently as if to reassure him. Then he tugged at Dan's shirt, lifting it over his head. He moved his hands to the pants next, working them and the boxers down past his hips. Dan started on Phil's shirt, but halted when Phil interrupted him.

 

"I don't need to take my clothes off for this."

 

"Yeah, but I still want you to." Dan said, almost shyly. That earned him a slow, deep kiss that made him sigh in pleasure. Phil pulled back and removed his shirt. He hesitated a second and then took off his pants as well, stripping down until they were both naked.

 

"Lie down. On your front."

 

As Dan obliged, he heard Phil rummage around in one of his drawers. He closed his eyes. He _was_ tense, he noted. His mind was still going a mile a minute, listing off tasks and worries and tactics.

 

The mattress shifted as Phil climbed upon the bed, straddling him to sit on his upper legs. He heard a bottle being opened and then Phil rubbing his hands together in a slick, wet sound. Warm hands descended on his shoulder blades as the faintest hint of vanilla permeated the air.

 

"Tell me what you're thinking." Phil murmured as he moved his hands slowly and steady up to his neck and then down again. He pressed deliberately, making the muscles yield to him as they warmed up and relaxed.

 

"Hmm. The mortgage."

 

"On the list. We have an appointment with the bank tomorrow morning anyway, remember? Nothing we can do tonight. What more?"

 

"Moving. All the contract stuff."

 

"All on the list, you can let that leave your mind for now. What else?" The hands were now kneading at his shoulders, willing the stiff muscles to surrender. And they did, slowly but surely.

 

"How we're going to tell our subscribers."

 

"We have an idea, we've started, we'll work on the rest tomorrow."

 

Tension was slowly leaving his body under Phil's warm and determined hands. He was lost in the sensation of Phil's hands, the fingers stroking along his spine or smoothed over his ribs, just hard enough so that he let out little hums of happiness. Similarly the mind ran out of steam as he listed off what was keeping him occupied. And he found that he wasn't thinking about everything he'd already told Phil, as though he'd given his worries away.

 

Gradually his mind became clearer and clearer until nothing remained but a happy buzz, a general feeling of love and peace. It was so special, that only Phil could make his mind so quiet.

 

He wanted to share that with him, to thank him for loving him. It was as though Phil sensed that, because he sat back, allowing Dan to turn around. They didn't need any words, because when they looked into each other's eyes, they knew. Those deep blue eyes, the soft, pure gaze filled with love could only be the mirror of what Dan himself was feeling.

 

Phil kept up his massage, but something unspoken between them changed, as though they'd agreed that this was the right moment.

 

They touched each other tentatively, as if they were exploring each other for the first time. They kissed slowly, each reassuring the other of the love they felt. Dan sighed as hands slid over his chest, teasing at his nipples before making their way down his stomach, past his navel...

 

The warm hand felt fantastic on his length, but it wasn't the only place Dan wanted to be touched right now. He let his legs fall apart and Phil moved to adjust. He kept one hand lovingly stroking the shaft, the other hand cupping his balls before reaching into the drawer again to find lube.

 

And Phil was gentle this time, moving so carefully and deliberately that Dan thought his heart would break. When the first, slick finger breached him, Phil looked at him intently, to see if he was causing discomfort.

 

He wasn't. Of course he wasn't. Dan smiled, stroking his fingers over Phil's cheek. Their lips met again, melting softly against each other as they sighed with contentment. A second finger joined the first, but Dan was so relaxed and pliable that he could only gasp in joy.

 

The third finger was a new sensation and he exhaled slowly to allow his body to adjust. It burned a little bit and Dan threw his head back to revel in the feeling. It felt like a _lot_. But a lot had never felt so good.

 

Phil halted his movements, unsure whether he should continue. Dan's eyes opened again and he smiled at his boyfriend, telling him without words that he could go on. And he did. A low groan escaped him when the fingers curled deep inside him, brushing that spot that made him see stars. The digits slid easier as Dan got used to them, massaging him deep and oh so right, preparing him for what was to come.

 

And then they disappeared. Dan looked at Phil as he reached for the tube of lube again with trembling hands. Dan took the tube himself. He wanted to do this, to have some part in the preparations. He spread a dollop of the oily substance on his own fingers, then took Phil in his hand.

 

He should feel some trepidation, because it was his first time and Phil wasn't exactly small. But he wasn't thinking that. He just hoped he'd be good for his lover. And as he slicked him up, he only thought that he couldn't wait. Couldn't wait to feel him, be with him completely and give all of himself.

 

The tip felt big against his opening, but he give Phil's hand a squeeze, urging him to go further. As it slid in, just past his rim, he moaned. Phil stopped again, but Dan hooked a leg around his waist, signaling him to continue.

 

The stretch was unbelievable. Only a few inches in, Dan's body began to tremble. It felt huge, almost splitting him open as his walls yielded to the intrusion. Phil halted just before it could start to hurt and Dan loved him for that. He trusted Phil, because he knew he would do whatever he could to make this amazing for the both of them.

 

And he was earning that trust. Dan let his eyes fall open again to meet Phil's blue ones - almost black with passion but trained on him, trying to detect any form of discomfort. He was holding still, arms and abs trembling lightly with the effort to do so, a light sheen of sweat making his body glisten. Dan looked down their bodies to where they were joined and saw how much was still to come.

 

He clenched experimentally around Phil, making him groan and drop his head. That was the hottest thing Dan had seen and felt yet, so he did it again. Phil grabbed his wrist.

 

"If you do that, it's going to be over very quickly." He warned, his voice low with arousal, pupils blown wide as he looked at Dan.

 

Dan was harder than he'd ever been in his life. He took a deep breath, trying to get himself to relax. After a minute, his vice-like grip had relented enough for Phil to move again.

 

He let out a strangled ' _yesss_ ' as he felt Phil slip deeper, deeper, deeper until finally he was sheathed to the hilt.

 

"Oh my God." Dan whimpered as all his nerve endings burned, the hot length inside him searing his tender body.

 

"So good, so good, baby." Phil groaned, peppering his chest and neck with kisses.

 

Dan reached out blindly, cupping Phil's chin. He got the hint and met his mouth with his own. Maybe Dan just felt everything too deeply, but with his mind so empty, his thoughts so quiet, this felt _vast_. Staggering. Dan didn't even know where Phil began and he ended. It was amazing to have someone inside like that, to be joined this way.

 

Slowly, ever so slowly, Phil began to move. Dan whimpered when he felt the length drag over his sensitive walls, then groan as he moved deeper again.

 

He lost every sense of the world as his universe narrowed down to the two of them, their eyes locked and their bodies joined. The feel of Phil inside him was driving him crazy and he was so, so tender that his heart ached. He was starting to pick up speed now, as Dan relaxed around him and he slid in and out easier. Dan moved with him, rocking back against him to feel more of that delicious friction.

 

They were starting to get close and Phil deliberately slowed down, making his motions slower, avoiding that pleasurable spot deep inside. Dan's whole body was taut with passion, like a current of electricity was coursing through him, unable to escape. His mind was whited out, nothing mattered but them in that moment. Someone was groaning, he didn't even know which of them. A persistent litany of _oh god oh fuck oh yeah_ could've come from either of them.

 

There was a sense of urgency now as they realized it was too much. Dan felt an arm hook under his knee, tilting his hips to change the angle of their lovemaking. And it was effective, because at the next thrust, his prostate was hit dead on, making Dan cry out in pleasure. The next thrust came soon after that, again in just the right spot, making his vision dance with fireworks, unintelligible words of love tumbling from his lips.

 

Again and again, harder and faster, he took it all until he lost himself, screaming as he was torn apart, breaking into a thousand pieces. His own muscles were fluttering weakly as he felt Phil's release, hot inside him.

 

His body wasn't working anymore. He saw Phil's lips moving, but couldn't hear what he said. Every cell, every atom was singing with joy, drowning out everything else. He thought he may have whimpered when Phil pulled out, because he looked worried as he stroked his cheek. But that was silly - he had never felt better. He let out a laugh, trying to convey how happy he was, even if it came out half a hoarse groan.

 

He tugged weakly at Phil's arm, signaling him to lay down next to him.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

Oh, his hearing was working again.

 

"Awesome." He croaked with a grin.

 

"Any pain?" Phil's eyes were mostly blue again, and worried.

 

"I feel amazing. I love you." He said with his last remaining energy, his eyes growing heavy.

 

A relieved smile broke out on Phil's face.

 

"I love you too." Was the last thing Dan heard before he succumbed to exhaustion.

 

###

 

They woke early, the alarm clock blaring through their peaceful slumber.

 

"Oooohh..."

 

Dan groaned loudly when he tried to get up. He was sore, his body screaming at him due to last night's activities.

 

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Dan." Phil gasped.

 

Dan glared at him.

 

"Don't you dare apologize." Though his statement was undermined as he sat up and hissed.

 

"I tried not to hurt you, I think I lost control."

 

Phil looked very affected and Dan kissed him to reassure him.

 

"It was amazing. And I wouldn't have wanted you to do anything different, because I've never had an orgasm like that. There's nothing to feel guilty about."

 

Phil didn't look entirely sure, but Dan kissed him until he did.

 

They took a long, hot shower together, washing away the tension in their muscles and relaxing them for the long day to come.

 

At breakfast, Dan remembered  Phil's cryptic tweet, saying that he was making some big changes soon. He typed his own retweet and with a cheeky smirk showed it to Phil for approval.

 

_Celebrated with Phil last night but deep inside I'm hurting._

 

Phil grinned as Dan wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, then nodded his agreement. Dan posted the retweet.

 

Let the Phandom chew on that for a while.

 

Operation Wild Goose Chase had commenced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After 10 chapters, they finally had sex! I hope I did justice to the intimacy as well as the lust. Feedback is highly appreciated!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 

Dan hadn't thought it was possible to fall more in love with Phil, but here he was, tumbling.

 

They were busy, working hard to make a dent in the to-do list that never seemed to end. But that was okay - the way Phil looked when he was busy did good things to Dan. His black fringe was untidy, an errand strand falling over those glasses that just made him look too damn hot in an adorable way. The sleek design of the glasses served to make those gorgeous eyes shine even brighter, as if they were pieces of art, framed and highlighted.

 

 _I am such a sappy bag of trash_.

 

He had been staring at his boyfriend for much too long, his work already forgotten. He forced himself to return to the income statements he'd need to compile.

 

Their meeting at the bank had gone well. At least, he thought. He had been very distracted by the burning soreness of his body, making him squirm uneasily in his seat. And it wasn't even so much the physical distraction, the accompanying memories had made it even more challenging to focus. He hoped the mortgage clerk hadn't noticed. Or if he had, that he'd chalk his uneasiness up to the financial matters at hand. Phil had seemed focused throughout the meeting and happy by the end of it, so he reckoned it was all fine. It wasn't perhaps the smartest financial move to judge a mortgage by how prettily your lover's eyes sparkle in reaction to it, but hey, they hadn't signed anything yet.

 

Dan stacked up the papers with a sigh. Phil shot him a look from the couch.

 

"I need to work in my own room." Dan explained. "You're distracting me."

 

"Dan, I'm just sitting here, working." He pushed his frames a bit further up his nose, his eyes big and innocent and bright and -

 

"Ugh. That's what I mean." Dan accused, pointing at his boyfriend. "And on top of that, I still feel you every time I move."

 

"Does it hurt still?" Phil winced sympathetically.

 

"It never _hurt_ , you spork. It just... aches. In a good way." Okay, he might be blushing.

 

"Oh. So you don't want me to kiss and make it better?"

 

"No! Bad Phil! Get back to work." Dan lifted a threatening finger. At this rate they'd never get everything sorted.

 

"You didn't mind the last time I kissed your ass." Phil smirked.

 

Dan was saved from a rebuttal by the doorbell. He was surprised - they weren't expecting anybody. A curious glance from Phil confirmed that they didn't have any visits planned.

 

It turned out to be Louise - but something was off.

 

When she made her way up a minute later, she was quiet. Without even greeting them or looking at them, she primly took off her coat, hanging it neatly over one of the dining chairs. She placed her handbag on the table, shook out her hair and then calmly sat down on the chair, crossing her legs and smoothing out her skirt.

 

She looked at them. Her expression was unreadable.

 

"Err... Lou, what's going on?" Dan asked hesitantly.

 

"You tell me." She replied, her voice devoid of emotion.

 

"I don't follow."

 

"Curious you'd choose that wording." She said airily and Dan knew they were treading a dangerous line now. That tone did not bode well.

 

"Louise, what's this about?" Phil asked with a confused look.

 

"Your damn tweets, you plonkers!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air in frustration.

 

"Oooh. Yeah, those." Dan was relieved. He had been worried something was seriously wrong.

 

"How many times did I tell you guys, you don't leave me out of your shenanigans! Much less make me subject to one! You _know_ I'm not just any other random friend and I refuse to be treated as such! Now tell me what's going on, because the internet is going crazy over those tweets."

 

"Okay. You want the long version or the short version?" Phil asked.

 

Louise didn't reply except to wave her hands at them in an exasperated motion, clearly meaning _come on already!_

 

"We bought a house."

 

Louise's hands were still in mid-air but halted in their agitated movements, making her look like a marionette puppet in suspension. Her mouth falling open and eyes going wide only completed the vision. Dan wished he had a camera ready, but he feared Louise would use it and sodomize him much less gently than Phil had last night. So instead he continued his explanation.

 

"It's an amazing place, we really lucked out. It's gargantuan and it comes with a garden that just makes you drool. But we could only get it if we move in three weeks."

 

Louise dropped her hands and gripped the table in shock. "Holy shit! Oh my God, that's amazing! But it's so fast!"

 

"We know..." Phil winced. "Actually, we're really busy right now to get everything in order. We _have_ to be in in three weeks because of our... tenants."

 

"Wait - you have tenants? What the hell! And why would that mean you can't move in later?" Louise looked gobsmacked, but Dan was already swiping through his phone. In the short time they'd had, they had taken a few pictures of the puppies and some of the garden and the outside of the house.

 

As she saw the picture of them with both puppies, she let out a squeal that nearly ruptured their eardrums.

 

"Are they yours?!"

 

"Yep." Dan grinned and he gave her the full story, how they'd gotten the dogs, but also how they'd gotten the house.

 

Louise still looked gobsmacked when he finished.

 

"Holy shit, guys, that's insane. And amazing. Congratulations! But I still don't get the tweets?"

 

"That's just us being theatrical." Phil shrugged nonchalantly. "We're giving them a little scare, making them think only I am moving out. They'll get the full story in three weeks."

 

"That's a little mean. I didn't expect that from you, Phil." Louise admonished.

 

"Excuse you, have you _seen_ the Tweety video? He's right devilish." Dan pointed out. "And besides, we're not going to lie about anything. Everything will be technically correct - the best kind of correct." He quoted.

 

Louise bit her lip. "Hm. Fair enough. But then why would you say you're hurting inside?"

 

Dan raised an eyebrow. "Phil was being a pain in the ass."

 

Phil buried his face in one of the throw pillows as peals of laughter filled the house.

 

###

 

They didn't tweet or post a video in the week that followed, but that only served to stir up the online shit storm even more. The web was rife with speculation and fellow YouTubers started to text them privately, asking what was going on. They deflected the questions as best they could, being curt and only saying everything was fine. They didn't elaborate. That wasn't really difficult - they were still busy and if they did have a moment to spare, well, they had a few fun ways to pass the time together.

 

It seemed they were on an unspoken mission to catch up on seven years of not having sex and Dan was a-okay with that. It had gotten easier after that first time, his body adjusting more readily to Phil's as they learned what made the other tick. Needless to say, he learned a _lot._ And after only a few days, they had properly christened every room in their apartment. From the sofa crease to the dining table to the kitchen, no surface went unbesmirched. Phil even took him from behind on the spot in the hallway where he used to have an existential crisis. His forearms and cheek had sustained serious carpet burn but it was gratifying to sort of cleanse that spot of the lonely, miserable times he'd spent there. Though 'cleanse' was a relative term of course - it mostly involved screaming and needed to be followed up by some actual cleaning.

 

He had toyed with the idea of doing a regular danisnotonfire video, but if the marks on his cheek wouldn't give him away, the almost constant grin on his face definitely would. Instead he posted a tweet while he took a break from incessant business emails.

 

_One man's trash will be another man's treasure._

 

He meant the house of course, because the buyers had pulled out. But he was banking on the internet picking up on his self-proclaimed status as Phil Trash and theorizing that there was trouble in paradise.

 

He looked up as Phil appeared in the doorway of his bedroom. He crossed his arms and leaned against the door jamb.

 

"I'll bet you a tenner that Tyler Oakley will ring you within a day. He was already on our case and that tweet is not going to help."

 

"You'd say it was people's own fault for getting so up in other people's personal lives."

 

Phil quirked an eyebrow. "Personal lives that you tweet about."

 

Dan just shrugged. It was all part of the plan. Phil moved towards him, stopping just behind his chair.

 

"Shame about this." He murmured as he stroked over the reddened skin of Dan's cheek.

 

"Why?"

 

"I feel like taking out the trash." Phil grinned and dropped a butterfly kiss on the nape of Dan's neck.

 

Dan burst out laughing as he squirmed away.

 

"I hope you meant taking me out on the town? Otherwise it just means you put me on the curb to let me be picked up by smelly, random men in a van."

 

"Hey, at least then people would really start to believe our little rumor."

 

"Or they'd think you have a serious trash kink."

 

"I don't put anything past Tumblr anymore."

 

Dan considered some of the fanart he'd saved to his personal folder and he had to agree - nothing was too crazy for the internet. Rule 34 was rule number 1.

 

Thank God for that.

 

###

 

They'd agreed Phil would make an announcement on his own channel. Phil had taken it seriously, locking himself in his room, doing take after take after take. After he was done editing, he sent it to Dan without any comment, opting to stay in his room instead of watching it with him.

 

Dan started the video. Phil was in his usual place, the background vibrant and cheery - a stark contrast to the serious, almost grave look in his eyes.

 

"Hi guys." His customary wave was perfunctory at best - slightly scared, if he was honest.

 

"This video is going to be a bit unusual and I hope with all my heart that you won't hate me for the content. Because it's so important to me. Oh - and it's happy news by the way. Before you misunderstand my serious face. I tweeted a while back that I was making some changes, because something had come on my path. Well, the truth is... I'm in love. That's not the new thing by the way, I've been in love for a while now and I don't think it's going away." He breathed out slowly.

 

"No, I know it's not going away. I am in love. There, you know the truth. And the reason I'm telling you is because we found a house together. So my next video will be in a new house, new background..." He let his eyes glide to the viewfinder, something Dan always gave him crap for, but this time it was justified.

 

Phil's eyes were slightly misty when he continued and that just punched Dan right in the heart. "Oh my God, I can't believe this is the last video in this room. I've lived here for so long and the last years have been the best years of my life. And even though I know I'm going toward something even better, I'm really going to miss this."

 

He shook his head and pulled himself together. "I've had a tumultuous couple of years - and even more so in the past six weeks or so. In a way, that gave me a kick in the butt. Because I've learned that life is short and while change is scary, it's even worse to be so scared you don't dare to do anything at all. Or to do nothing because you feel you'll be punished for wanting more and not being grateful for what you already have. Believe me, I've lost _years_ like that. And while these past few years have been so amazing, I'm almost thirty and I want to start a family some day. I can't do that here. I can't have a roommate and do that. And as I assured Dan: he is still my best friend and we will definitely still do gaming videos together, that won't change a bit. In fact, besides a background change, I doubt very little will change for you guys. I just... need to go."

 

Phil let out a tremulous breath. "Well that was my announcement. It's big stuff but something I'm so ready for and excited about. So I hope you are, too. I'll definitely do a video once I'm moved in. See you guys soon."

 

The screen went black.

 

Dan felt weird, like Phil had just announced he was leaving _him_ even though he never actually said that.

 

He stalked over to Phil's room, wrenching the door open and pulling him out of his chair by his shirt.

 

"Don't you ever leave me." He growled.

 

And then they were kissing, desperately, as the gravity of _leaving_ this place fully sunk in. This had been their home, where they'd had the best of times and the worst of times, the place where they had properly gotten to know one another and grown so close. This place was _them_ , they were in every nook and cranny and they were leaving it. The only way they were going to do this, was together.

 

Because they might leave this place, but Dan was never, ever going to leave Phil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry I haven't uploaded all week! I have spent some time writing, but that was actually for the next chapter. And working double jobs currently has me scrambling for time. Thank you for all your sweet comments! You guys are fantastic!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

 

They informed their families and their closest friends after Phil had uploaded the video and that was a good thing, because the internet exploded. While a lot of the comments on the video had been positive and supportive, even those messages had carried a sort of disappointed undertone. And a great number of comments were people panicking about their ship sinking. It was clear that people just wanted Dan and Phil to stick together, even if they tried to be nice about the developments. Dan grinned as he read those comments. Their surprise would definitely be a happy one for a lot of people.

 

"After all these years it's still weird that people are so involved in our lives." Phil mused as he scrolled through the avalanche of posts that had almost crashed Tumblr.

 

"And by weird, you mean sweet but slightly creepy, right?" Dan said distractedly, following the shit storm on Twitter. "Here, look at these... it looks like people are more sad for me than happy for you."

 

"That's because they know you and they don't know who I'm supposedly replacing you with." Phil said logically. "You know our rep called me this morning? She demanded to know who I was dating. She blathered on about branding and people unsubscribing because I was leaving you."

 

Dan bit his lip, then set his laptop aside.

 

"That really isn't okay. And some of these comments too... Some people are genuinely angry because we're not living our lives the way they want to. We should address that. What if you really had fallen in love with some girl and moved out? Some of these people are only just giving you shit about it. No matter how much you'd love her, that poor girl would just be ostracized for not being me. How fucked up is that?"

 

Phil raised an eyebrow without looking away from his screen. "That's because _I_ would probably ostracize her for not being you. Really, what kind of girl could I love more than you?"

 

"But if there _was_ a girl -"

 

Phil sighed and put his laptop aside as well.

 

"Even in an infinite number of universes, I would still end up with you every single time."

 

Dan scoffed at him. "That's not true. There'd be a universe where you'd date Delia Smith and one where you'd be the world's hottest llama and -"

 

"And a universe where you would just take a romantic compliment and kiss me."

 

Dan broke off and laughed. He moved to straddle Phil, wrapping his arms around his neck.

 

"Wouldn't that be a world to live in." He murmured before he kissed him deeply.

 

As Phil's hands gripped at his hips, pulling him closer, Dan figured he was actually quite comfortable in the eye of the storm.

 

###

 

Two days before moving day, they decided Dan would do a liveshow on YouNow. Phil had started packing and Dan knew he should, too, but he decided to do this while his room still looked like normal.

 

He took a few deep breaths, channeling his inner emo. He needed to look like he was trying to be happy for Phil whilst being eaten up inside. He thought back to 2012, when Phil had dated a few girls, some even for a few months. Oh, he remembered how dispirited and miserable he had felt back then, watching them leave Phil's bedroom in the morning, with weak knees and dopey smiles. Yep, that put him right in the zone.

 

The chat was quickly filling up as he welcomed people, giving shout-outs. For the first twenty minutes he talked idly about Kanye West. Well, not _idly_ perhaps, it was Kanye after all. People in the chat weren't having it, as demands to comment on Phil's move grew and grew. Dan's eyes nearly bugged out of his skull as he saw how many people had logged on. It was far more than he had ever had in a YouNow session. He decided it was time.

 

"Well... looks like you guys don't want to talk about Kanye, which is a shame. I needed a distraction from Phil but it seems you guys just want to talk about that. Alright. Let's go see if he wants to spare some of his precious time for me."

 

Oh, that had sounded nice and bitter. He mentally patted himself on the back. He picked up his laptop, making sure to show his room still looked exactly the same, before knocking on Phil's bedroom door.

 

"Come in!"

 

He opened the door, balancing his laptop carefully on one hand.

 

"The internet wants to speak with you." He said as he placed the laptop on Phil's desk. He'd gotten really far with packing, Dan noted. Boxes were piled up by the window and his dresser was already dissembled. The walls were bare.

 

"Hey guys!" Phil happily exclaimed while he plopped down on the bed next to Dan, already calling out people in the chat. Dan fought to keep his smile small and uneasy, but it was difficult with Phil being so energetic and exuberant next to him.

 

"Sorry to take over Dan's hour like this. I haven't done a YouNow in ages, I've just been so busy lately! Anytime you need to scroll on a to-do list, that's just not a place you want to be in. Speaking of places I do want to be in... wow, how smooth was that transition. Anyway, I'm packing!" He scrolled through the chat.

 

"Oh, Alicia345 wants to know what my new house looks like. Well, it looks amazing, we immediately fell in love with it. It's huge, by the way. And of course it has a big garden, otherwise Sarah wouldn't want to live there."

 

Dan kept his pokerface on, smiling like he just had his wisdom teeth pulled, but inside he was very impressed that Phil had so casually thrown out the name of one of their dogs to make it seem like he was talking about a girlfriend. And the people online were lapping it up.

 

"Aaand Margaret wants to know what Sarah looks like. I guess maybe I'll introduce you sometime in the future, I don't know yet. She's not really an online person." Dan bit the inside of his cheek because he almost burst out laughing at that.

 

"What do you think about Sarah, Dan?" Phil asked innocently, turning to him.

 

If he wasn't enjoying this game so much, he might have considered murdering him at that point. Instead he gave as good as he got.

 

"If you were going to end up with any girl, it would have to be a blonde called Sarah... it's just... last time I saw her she was drooling all over you. It's a little bit disgusting." Dan said with a grimace.

 

"Oh, come on. She's just happy she gets to live with me. I mean, yeah, sometimes she can be a bit..." Phil paused as he searched for a word.

 

"A bit-ch _._ " Dan supplied with a grin.

 

Phil turned to him incredulously. "...a bit enthousiastic... what is it with you?"

 

"Sorry, I was trying to be funny. Sarah is a sweetheart. I'm sorry. I just don't do change well." Dan waved awkwardly, trying to keep grinning. Phil gave him a cold look.

 

"Right... Look, I'd better continue packing. Don't let me keep you from your liveshow."

 

Damn, dismissed. Phil had seriously gotten better at acting and his harsh tone shot straight to Dan's groin. If the camera hadn't been on, he would've pushed him back on the bed and -

 

_Keep the pokerface, Dan, the camera's still rolling._

 

He left Phil's room in silence to continue the liveshow in his own room. The chat was going wild because of the conversation that had just transpired, but Dan avoided the topic at all cost. He talked about a movie he had seen, which rolled over nicely into a reflection on the brilliance of Quentin Tarantino and voila, the hour was filled.

 

He ended the session, powered off his laptop and then almost power-walked to Phil's room.

 

Phil was chilling on his bed, arms behind his head and looking smug as can be.

 

"Tumblr is going mad already. I think we've caused a few aneurysms."

 

Dan straddled him, the denim of his jeans already becoming a bit too tight. Phil's hands moved to cup his ass as he ground into him. Dan groaned.

 

"That was fucking hot. When you told me off."

 

"And I thought it was because of my brilliant acting." Phil grinned.

 

Dan rolled his eyes. "You're so full of yourself."

 

"You're going to be full of me too."

 

Well, that was all the instruction Dan needed.

 

###

 

Moving day dawned on them earlier than they had liked to.

 

They were both melancholic and excited - a strange combination of sensations to have. It was weird to welcome a crew of movers into their apartment to take all their worldly possessions away. They filmed parts of the process, planning to release a 'Day in the life' video some days from now.

 

Gradually their apartment emptied around them and before they knew it, the last boxes were being picked up. Phil's hand found his as they made the last rounds. They didn't speak. No words were needed to inform the other what was going through them. This had been home. This had been the last five years of their lives. They were both teary-eyed as they stood in the living room, just letting all the memories, the good and the bad, wash over them.

 

"You ready to go?" Phil asked him some time later.

 

Dan wiped the tears from his eyes. Yes, he was ready. Ready to really start their lives together.

 

"Yeah. I am."

 

Because what was waiting for them, was even better.

 

A strong breeze hit them when they closed the door behind them for the last time. It wiped away all the melancholy, leaving them with only nervous excitement.

 

Because it wasn't just a house they were moving to. It was their future. And they were _so_ ready.

 

 

###

 

 

Adelaide Danbury was open-minded, she thought. At 88 years old, she'd seen a lot of the world and all of its different people. Granted, she hadn't left the house much in the past 20 years - and even less after her hip went bad in '05 - but she was still a citizen of society. Her knitting club and book club kept her well informed.

 

The concept of two men living together wasn't new to her. While she wasn't very familiar with the idea, it didn't bother her that much, because love was love above all else. And she liked the gays she saw on daytime talkshows. They just made it so much more fun. The way they acted was little... _saucy_ and exuberant at times, but Adelaide believed anyone should be free to be themselves. Most of them were just handsome and adorable. Really, what was the harm?

  
So when she saw the moving truck pulling up to the recently vacated house across the street, being waved down by two young men, she thought she'd be a good neighbor and introduce herself.

 

It took a while before she and her walker had made the trek across the street, but she used that time to study the two lads currently instructing the employees of the moving company. They were tall, taller than she'd expected. Their haircuts looked - what was the word? - _fabulous_ , fringes artfully swept to look effortless. They looked very stylish. And the brown haired one, why, he was wearing jeans tighter than she'd ever dared to let her daughters wear when they were young. And not because they wouldn't look good, because she had done well passing down her genes, thank you very much.

 

The black haired one turned to her as she approached. He looked like a kind and sweet soul, Adelaide immediately liked him.

 

"Sorry to cut in like this, boys, just welcoming you to the neighborhood. Adelaide Danbury. I live across."

 

"Phil Lester. It's nice to meet you." Oh, good strong handshake. And a warm smile. Yes, she liked him.

 

"Dan Howell." Good eyes, a bit reserved perhaps. She did not fail to note that their surnames were different. Not married then. Well, that didn't faze her either. See? She was a worldly gal.

 

"It's a pleasure. Don't worry, I shan't be long. You look like you're busy."

 

"Oh, it's quite alright!" The dark haired one - Phil, was it? - answered pleasantly. "Great to meet the neighbors!"

 

People lugging boxes and furniture interrupted them, asking for the correct locations of various objects. Adelaide knew she must toddle, leave them to it, but she found their warm, sweet presence so inviting, she wanted to know more about them. So amidst the moving men milling about them, she pressed on.

 

"How long have you been together then?" She asked kindly after they'd sent a man carrying a giant houseplant on his way to the living room.

 

The man called Phil looked pensively at his lover.

 

"How long is it now? Five..?"

 

"No, five and a half, I think." Brown haired Dan replied, a little absent as he pondered over one of the boxes presented to him.

 

"Oh, isn't that wonderful, five and a half years." Adelaide remembered when she and Mr. Danbury had celebrated their five year anniversary. Goodness, they'd been young.

 

"No, no, not years." Dan said hastily, returning his attention to the conversation. "Five and a half weeks."

 

"...weeks?" Adelaide said faintly. Had she heard that correctly?

 

"Nearly six weeks, now that I think about it." Phil added, frowning as he counted in his head.

 

"Oh yes, it would be, wouldn't it? I'd forgotten it was Tuesday." The younger boy replied distractedly, once again accosted by the movers.

 

Adelaide clutched her pearls. She didn't want to be judgmental, but that just wasn't _normal_. She fought to stay polite and lady-like, the virtues her own late mother had instilled in her.

 

"Oh! Er, well... that's... short. To buy a house I mean."

 

"Nah, not for us." The older man shrugged.

 

"Oh. Is that different for gays then?"

 

That was impolite, she knew, but it was out of her mouth before she knew it.

 

"Oh, we're not gay." Phil laughed.

 

"We're bi." The younger man added.

 

"Whereby what?" She asked nonplussed.

 

"No, we are bi. Bisexual. It means we both like men and women alike."

 

Oh. Was that a thing now? She'd never met gays before in real life, let alone - what did you even call them? - _bi's_? Adelaide now understood why people like this were called _queer_ , because this was the strangest, most outlandish duo she'd ever met. The moving company was busy, asking questions and hauling an endless stream of strange, colorful objects from the van into the house. It was such a surreal experience to stand there with these two mysteries, that she desperately sought to find the least offending topic she could think of, hoping to end the conversation quickly and kindly.

 

"And what do you do for a living?"

 

"We make videos." Dan answered.

 

"Oh, isn't that nice." She said hesitantly. "Of what?"

 

"Ourselves. Having fun, playing games." Phil answered. "Like, alone or together."

 

_Oh._

_OH._

 

"I... s-see." She stammered. Yes, she'd heard about videos like that. They weren't _talked about_ however. Suddenly it made perfect sense why two young men could afford a house like that in the London suburbs.

 

"Yep. And we put it online. It's called vlogging." Dan added.

 

_Flogging?!_

 

Adelaide's faith in humanity crumbled to dust. This was worse than she'd thought.

 

"A lot of people want to watch it actually, we're quite popular." The raven haired one chattered happily.

 

"Yeah, enough to make a good living. Never thought I could buy a house doing _that_." The brown haired one added with a grin.

 

"Well, you are very good at it." The older man praised with a loving smile.

 

My goodness - they were _proud_ of that. Did they have no shame, these two depraved youths? Her fingers shook as she gripped nervously at her necklace. She should've known that that youthful exuberance they exuded was nothing less than pure sin, their wickedness luring her in.

 

"I have to go." She squeaked.

 

There was no way she was staying here a second longer. In a near blind panic, she turned her walker around without saying goodbye properly. A man hauling a white object nearly knocked her off her feet, neither of them paying attention. She squawked in surprise, barely keeping her balance.

 

She turned to the man to apologize, but - wait, were there _buttocks_ on that chair?

 

She ripped her gaze away as fast as she could, scurrying back across the street to safety. She needed to be far, far away from this reprehensible pair. And she needed to call the homeowners association and find out when on God's green Earth they'd allowed this beautiful street to be turned into Sodom and Gomorra.

 

###

 

"I think she liked us."

 

"I'm not sure."

 

"Do we actually care, by the way?"

 

" _Dan._ "

 

They were interrupted by the previous owners, who had just finished up their own move.

 

"We left everything for the dogs in the shed. We walked and fed them an hour ago and they're all dozing in the shed now, so they won't get in your way. Take good care of them, boys, or I won't hesitate to fly back across the pond."

 

After they had crossed their hearts and swore they would, the previous owners cast one last, fond look at the house and left.

 

It felt surreal, walking up to the front door of their house. Movers were still rushing in and out. The keys in Dan's pocket felt warm and heavy. Their house...

 

Just before he could step inside, he felt Phil pull him back, wrapping one arm behind his back.

 

"What are you doing?" He asked surprised.

 

"Carrying you over the threshold." Phil grinned, then bent down to hook his other arm behind his knees.

 

Dan laughed breathlessly as he allowed himself to be lifted. Phil nearly hit _both_ their heads on the door jamb and they might have come close to actually tripping, but they made it.

 

As Phil set him down in the hallway, he kissed him slowly.

 

"Welcome home, love."

 

"Welcome home."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to round up, then it's done!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 

The evening sun filtered through the trees of the quiet street Louise just turned into, making spots of light flicker on the dashboard of her car. The lane looked so peaceful, it made her smile just to see it. Strange - normally only shopping streets had that effect on her. Her two friends had picked a fantastic day to move - it hadn't rained a single drop and it wasn't too hot. While that wasn't completely unlikely in London, it was still a fair bit of luck.

 

Though that was not even a percentage of the luck they'd had to snatch up this house. She couldn't yet see it - even after she had parked and exited her car. The houses along the street were still largely obscured by trees and hedges. But she could tell that they were big and set quite a bit apart - certainly by London standards.

 

Some people would be jealous, Louise realized with a twinge of sadness. A few subscribers - not a lot, thankfully - had left nasty comments on Phil's video. It had made her really sad, because Phil had disclosed it was the happiest thing to happen to him. And lord knew he deserved some happiness. But some people only thought from their own perspective.

 

Even here on the street jealousy reigned, apparently. She watched curiously as an old lady, bent over her walker in age but still carrying a sort of silent grace, stopped her slow amble a little ways from her. The old biddy cast a dark look at the house opposite the street for a few seconds before resuming her walk. How strange, that someone would give an inanimate object a look that could curdle milk. Louise followed the woman's line of sight.

 

Wait - wasn't that Dan and Phil's house?

 

Louise checked the address she'd hastily written down on a scrap of paper. Number 7. She looked back at the house, then again at her paper. Yes, that was definitely their house. She locked up her car, hitched her bag a little higher up on her shoulder and set off to cross the street, towards her goal.

 

Thin fingers encircled her wrist. Louise let out a gasp in surprise and turned around. It was the old lady with her walker.

 

"Think what you're doing, child." She pleaded, her eyes anxious.

 

"E-excuse me?" Louise tried to pull her arm away, but the fingers were like a vulture's talons, wrinkly, weathered and thin, but creepily strong.

 

"You're going to _them_ , aren't you? Please don't. You're too good for this." The woman implored her. She did seem very upset.

 

"What do you mean, too good? I'm too good to visit my friends?" She was flabbergasted - what on Earth was this harridan talking about?

 

The woman leaned close and dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "You're friends? You know them? _What they're doing together_?"

 

 _Oooh._ So that was the problem. The woman was a homophobe! Well, Louise wasn't going to let her friends be insulted like that. She ripped her arm away, nearly making the woman topple over.

 

"Listen you old hag, this isn't the 1850's anymore. If you haven't read the newspapers for the last world war, two men can actually be in a relationship without being prosecuted. So you can take your bigotry and -"

 

"I mean they're filming porn!" The old crone hissed at her.

 

Louise's mouth fell open and words blocked in her throat.

 

"They just told me this morning - they flog each other and they film it. I beg of you, please don't throw your life away with them. You're too young and pretty. You have other options!"

 

Louise burst out laughing.

 

"I think you may have not heard that correctly. It's _vlogging_ with a v. It means they make funny videos. It's definitely not porn. You can look them up, they have loads of videos you can see - safely. They've been doing this for seven years."

 

The poor woman looked like she was struggling to put this information together.

 

"B-but... I thought... oh goodness gracious! I feel so rude!"

 

Louise giggled.

 

"Don't worry about it. They've had this confounding effect on people for ages."

 

The woman frowned. "But they said they've only been together for six weeks."

 

"They have. But they've been in love with each other since they met seven years ago. They've always been best friends and they've lived together for five years. These two can't be apart from each other very long. But it took _ages_ for them to finally admit that to each other. Believe me, it was very frustrating to watch."

 

"I would gather." The old woman mused. "But still, what a strange couple of lads."

 

Louise smiled at her. She felt sorry for the woman.

 

"That they are... Sorry I called you a hag by the way. It seems there's been quite a few misunderstandings today."

 

"Quite alright, love. Now, I mustn't deprive those lads of the presence of such a good friend. Please tell them to pop by for tea once they're settled. Oh, and tell them I hope they're chuffed to bits with that lovely home."

 

"Tea, chuffed, got it. I'll tell them." Louise promised her.

 

The wrinkled old hand was gentle as it patted Louise's arm. Louise watched her continue her way and a fond sort of affection filled her heart.

 

Maybe the people on this street weren't so bad after all.

 

###

 

Dan opened the door to a slightly intimidating looking Louise. She had her arms crossed and one eyebrow raised.

 

"What did I do now?" He asked hesitantly.

 

"Hello to you too, Louise, how've you been? You look pretty as usual. Won't you come in?" Louise said in her best impression of Dan.

 

Dan rolled his eyes.

 

" _Hello, Louise_ , what did I do now?"

 

"Let me in first. I need to crack _both_ your skulls."

 

"I don't really want to let you in now."

 

But Louise raised her eyebrow further and Dan stepped aside quickly to let her in. That eyebrow only went up so far before you were in _deep_ trouble. Louise's eyes roamed the hallway and widened in marvel. He grinned proudly.

 

"Come through to the kitchen, we'll give you a full tour later when everyone is here. That is, if we still can after you've cracked our skulls for whatever reason."

 

Louise didn't even hear him, she was too busy taking in the house, but she followed along anyway.

 

Phil was in the kitchen, surrounded by yipping puppies as he wiped down a large wooden kitchen table.

 

"Oh my goodness!" Louise squealed. She put her handbag on the table before she turned to the little furballs. Phil, however, snatched her purse away as fast as he could.

 

"Haven't completely cleaned it yet." He said with a blush.

 

"What?" Louise was a little distracted by the dogs.

 

"We just christened that." Dan clarified dryly.

 

"Wha- oh my God! Jesus, guys, this purse was two hundred quid!" She yelped with a horrified look. Dan couldn't help but laugh at her - and at Phil, who was blushing brightly.

 

Louise moved to set her purse on the kitchen counter.

 

"Phil?" Dan inquired sweetly.

 

"Yeah, that's fine, already cleaned that."

 

"Oh my God, you guys!" Louise shrieked as she yanked her bag away. "How long have you two even been alone!"

 

"Moving company left an hour ago." Dan said smugly. He already hurt all over and he probably would have some bruises in the morning. They'd had some pent up energy they'd definitely needed to release before anyone else would come over.

 

"It's amazing how you two can make me feel proud and abhorred at the same time. Here?" Louise had moved her bag to the windowsill and looked at them slightly scared before she fully set it down.

 

Dan nodded at her. "That's safe. Hadn't gotten there yet."

 

The puppies milled around their legs, providing a most welcome distraction.

 

"Who's this then?" Louise cooed at one of them, the very near desecration of her beautiful handbag already forgotten.

 

"That's Sarah, and this is Eevee. And we haven't named the boys yet, because they're leaving in four weeks. Maybe we should." Phil shot an inquiring look at Dan.

 

"Yeah, we can't call them 'yo' and 'hey' all that time." He knelt down by one of the male pups, who was now enthusiastically running in circles, yipping at him. "You were interrupting me earlier... so you will be named Kanye." He told it.

 

"How did I not see that coming..." Phil sighed.

 

"What's the other one called then?" Louise asked him. Phil pondered on that for a moment.

 

"David." He declared.

 

" _David_?" Dan asked incredulously as he got to his feet. That was the most ridiculous dog's name he'd heard. And he'd had _Colin_.

 

"Yeah. Because he's a tenant." Phil grinned.

 

"David.. Ten- urgh." Dan groaned.

 

The puppy seemed to love it, as it came running towards them clumsily, veering off to one side as it nearly tripped on its paws.

 

"Awww, look, it's even wibbly-wobbly!" Phil crowed.

 

Dan closed his eyes to deal with the pain of that terrible joke. Now they'd named a dog after a timelord. He reminded himself to _never_ let Phil name their children.

 

"And you shall be named..." He heard Phil say in a grave, official voice, then felt a soft, moist cloth wipe gently on his forehead. " _Simba._ "

 

Dan's eyes flew open and he saw the cleaning rag in his face. He yelped and tore it away while Phil and Louise laughed their heads off.

 

"Oh my God, Phil!" He yelled and threw it right back at Phil, who barely dodged it. He dashed away when he saw Phil start towards him, but not three seconds later, two arms wrapped around him, pulling him close as they both laughed breathlessly. He turned around in those arms and kissed his boyfriend softly. That was usually the best way to end these shenanigans. And not to mention, Phil's lips were, like, _really_ soft today...

 

"You two are so disgusting... and in so many ways." Louise remarked after a few seconds.

 

Phil pulled back with a grin. Dan nuzzled his neck for good measure, but cracked an eye open to see Louise look at them with such fondness, that his heart swelled with love. How amazing was it, to have people around you who wholeheartedly loved it when you were happy. Dan thought he had hit the jackpot in just about every aspect of his life. And instead of worrying when the other shoe would drop, as he had in the past, he just fully enjoyed it. He couldn't wait to just be with Phil, like this, no matter who was watching. And he definitely couldn't wait until they would upload their already infamous video.

 

The doorbell rang once again and more close friends and family flooded the house.

 

Everyone had brought food and housewarming gifts and was generally in love with the house and their dogs. Once they ran out of chairs, they used their boxes of clothing for their friends and family to sit on. There wasn't anything breakable in it anyway. They vlogged parts of the evening to use in their moving day video.

 

After a while, Louise took over the camera and regaled them with the meeting she'd had with their neighbor, Mrs. Danbury. While the rest all laughed, Dan and Phil both groaned as they realized why exactly she had behaved so strangely by the end of their conversation. They avowed - on camera - to make it up to her.

 

They thanked their lucky stars they'd put together the bed as soon as it had been moved in, because by the end of the night, they barely had enough energy left to make it up the stairs.

 

Dan only had a fleeting thought before he fell asleep - that it wouldn't feel strange to wake up in the new house. Because it already felt like home.

 

###

 

And it didn't feel strange.

 

Dan woke after a deep and dreamless sleep, feeling happy and relaxed. He purred as he stretched and yawned.

 

"Good morning, love." Phil said. He was sitting up, lounging against the head of the bed. He was scrolling on his phone, glasses on and shirtless. That was the way Dan liked him best.

 

"And where's my good morning kiss?" He asked, trying to look offended.

 

"Sorry, can't really move." Phil pointed to his legs. Eevee and Sarah were sprawled across his shins, dead to the world as only puppies can be.

 

"Awww! How'd they get up here?"

 

"I was up earlier, went to feed them. I wanted to go back to bed, they wouldn't leave me. This seemed like a good compromise. Just for this morning. The rest are there sleeping on the floor." He pointed towards the door opening.

 

Dan sat up and delivered the good morning kiss himself.

 

"Just this morning."

 

"Yeah. And I was thinking about our coming out video. I don't want it to be too sappy or political or with a deeper meaning... I just want it to feel kind of... 'duh!' because that's what it was for us. We don't need to take this on a larger scale, it's just the logical conclusion to, you know, us."

 

Dan thought about that. He liked the simplicity of that. He nodded his approval. They discussed what they'd say. Just the general idea, to not make it feel scripted. It needed to be a bit vloggy, to keep the personal touch.

 

Phil took the handheld camera they'd used all day yesterday. He made sure he was in shot, but not Dan.

 

"Hey guys! This video will be called 'A moving day in the life' because I moved yesterday, but also because it was a very emotional day. It was strange to leave my bachelor pad and move into a proper family home. A lot of people have been asking to be introduced to Sarah." He bit his lip, looking conflicted. "She's here and she's sleeping, looking all adorable, but her sister is here as well. They were just so tired and they just fell asleep here. It's a little wrong... but I'm going to show you guys anyway."

 

He swiveled the camera around, showing a brief flash of an empty nightstand and curtains. The two puppies on his legs came into view, sprawled across him, their furry paws akimbo.

 

"The blonde one is Sarah and the reddish one is Eevee. And they are just the cutest things I've ever seen."

 

"I thought _I_ was." Dan grumbled. Phil quickly turned the camera around to him. Dan was leaning back on an elbow, the other arm holding the duvet up to his bare chest.

 

Phil turned the camera a little more, so that they were both in shot.

 

"Sorry, love. But you're still the most beautiful."

 

Dan rolled his eyes, but he obviously melted a little bit.

 

"Alright, you're off the hook. And by the way, this _is_ a little wrong. They shouldn't be sleeping on the bed."

 

Phil nodded at that. "It's unhygienic."

 

"No, it's not that. You're in a committed relationship and I don't want any bitches in our bed." He quipped dryly.

 

" _Dan_! Don't call them that!" Phil scolded him.

 

"Domestic arguments..." Dan sang under his breath and this time it was Phil who rolled his eyes. Then he addressed the camera.

 

"Anyway, if you hadn't guessed, Dan and I are in a relationship. Fun fact, it only started six weeks ago. We've been in love with each other since we met, but it turned out we each thought the other _wasn't_ in love and basically we've just been giant pining cowards."

 

"So that's just a little context before we transport you back in time to yesterday to truly start the moving day video! Hope you guys enjoy, future Dan and Phil will be with you at the end of this video." Dan waved them off.

 

Phil ended the recording.

 

"So, this part first, then the bits from the moving day and then a little conclusion at the end?"

 

"Yeah, sounds good. Think you can extract yourself from the dogs? I need coffee."

 

They pulled their jeans on, but their shirts were a no-go after yesterday's moving and party. Downstairs in the kitchen, Dan dug around the boxes to find a halfway decent shirt. With a satisfied hum he fished out his favorite black shirt.

 

Phil made a beeline for the coffeemaker. Dan sat back on one of the dining chairs, playing with their dogs a bit and generally admiring the view. Their kitchen, their garden, their dogs... them...

 

He accepted his mug of coffee, but set it aside. He took out the camera again and started filming Phil. He was leaning against the kitchen counter, reveling in his own cup of coffee. His eyes were closed in bliss. The scars on his stomach and chest still stood out against his light skin. Now that they had stopped hurting, Phil didn't mind them much anymore. And Dan wasn't scared of them as he had been - now he thought they looked rather sexy. Hell, Phil shirtless looked rather sexy.

 

Phil's eyes fell open, as if he'd felt Dan's gaze on him. The electric color of his eyes pierced him, even from across the room. Because even though Eevee had her little paws up to Phil's shin, looking up at him, Phil only had eyes for Dan. He felt a fist squeezing his heart that this man, this sweet, beautiful and sexy man looked at him like he was the most desirable thing on the planet.

 

"Why are you filming?" He asked. His voice was low - it was the voice Phil had when it was just the two of them.

 

"No reason." Dan said airily. Or at least, he hoped it sounded airily.

 

"You're not using this in the video." Phil said calmly as he sipped his coffee.

 

"I'm not?"

 

Phil shot him an exasperated look and set his coffee on the counter. He moved off to search for a shirt of his own.

 

Dan turned the camera on himself.

 

"I might be lying. You poor people deserve some eye-candy after all the tweets and videos we did lately."

 

Phil pulled up a chair next to him, now wearing a black shirt.

 

"We hope you liked this moving day video. We know we did. We may have been a little mean with the earlier videos and tweets; we did intentionally post some misleading information. With everyone so up in our business, we thought we could pull a little prank. And we never once lied, by the way. We just... misconstrued some information. Dan is indeed still my best friend and we will do videos together. And Sarah's living here, of course, with her sister Eevee. And I didn't lie when I said I am in love and that I am so, _so_ happy. You just didn't know that I love Dan." He turned to look at Dan, a soft smile on his lips.

 

"I love you."

 

Those words still made Dan's heart flip over and he smiled back.

 

"I love you, too."

 

They shared a soft kiss before ending the recording.

 

###

 

The internet went mad over their video.

 

And not just a little - there were tons of reaction videos, tweets and videos from just about every YouTuber on the planet. Tumblr barely made it through. The reactions on the video were just great. Some people raved about their ship, some people just incoherently expressed random capitalized letters, others spontaneously had babies born or ovaries exploding.

 

It made Dan laugh - he loved these sort of reactions. He could barely even find a hateful comment. And if there was a nasty comment, there were at least a hundred bashing it into the ground.

 

He was smiling to himself as he read the newest batch of comments.

 

"Good stuff?" Phil asked him. He stood in the door opening of the living room, which they had finally fully furnished.

 

"Good stuff. As usual."

 

"So you don't regret coming out?"

 

"Not a single bit." He said honestly. He didn't even know why he'd been scared all those weeks ago. He felt more in control than he'd ever felt.

 

"Good."

 

Phil moved to sit next to him on the couch and handed him a rectangular gift-wrapped package, the size of a small book. At Dan's questioning look, he explained.

 

"It's a late housewarming gift."

 

He unwrapped it, curious what it could be.

 

Dan gasped. It was a framed photograph - the photograph they'd taken on their first date at the abandoned mill. The same one that Dan had looked at later, the one that he had imagined on their mantle in their future home. He'd never even told Phil. And now they were in their future home...

 

"How did you know?" He asked, voice barely above a whisper. His fingers were shaking.

 

"That you'd like it? It's a good picture, isn't it?" Phil shrugged.

 

"Yes, it is. It's very good." Dan murmured as he set it on the mantle.

 

Because now he knew for certain that this was the only way it could ever have turned out for them. And how it would turn out for them in the future. It was meant to be.

 

It was, as Phil had said, the logical conclusion to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing in this little world and I really hope you liked reading it. The more I write, the more I want to write. And I love that it's becoming easier to write in English (not a native speaker). So I'm definitely excited for a new story.
> 
> As I think back, I killed Phil twice in Phoenix Down (twice the phanfic average!). I hope I've given him enough happy times to compensate for that. I think I did, I gave them two puppies instead of one... and enough sex to compensate for all the angst. And this story is now longer than Phoenix Down! So I'm going to call it even.
> 
> A massive, massive THANK YOU to everyone who has left kudos or comments! They make me so happy and anxious to write more. They've certainly helped me through some writer's blocks! You guys are amazing, so much love. I hope this last chapter and the whole story was to your liking. I love you guys!


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